FEBRUARY 1999 - Ok... my story isn't yet "completed". I'm a 15 year old female who lives in South Florida. You'll understand when I'm finished. It all started in June 1998 when I discovered the wonderful world of chat. I was fascinated with it! I hated being the new kid on the block though where everyone has to tell me what lol means and stuff. That day I suddenly LOVED chatting. I began to chat at this pet (about your pets) room at TalkCity. I was innocent then... I still had my childhood innocence at age 15 back then. Well I changed to this scifi room and met this really nice guy. He was 22 (he lived in Michigan) and had the same interest I had/have: aliens. We talked for long periods of time about how we would "conquer the world" and stupid stuff like that. We had lots of laughs. A few days later... I began to have feelings for this man. He was 7 years my senior... We ended up going out. I never thought that I would have a net-boyfriend. It was something I thought was totally wrong before I actually chatted. I thought the whole idea was insane and dangerous (and it's true at times).

Well things went well... but as we chatted everyday, my mom started suspecting why I chatted so much and why I would shut the door to the computer room when I did. They were suspicious... chat boyfriends are a no-no in their eyes. I misled them into thinking that I was just talking to ppl normally. Nothing great. They believed me. So they left me alone about it. Then I realized that he wasn't the man I was exactly looking for. He told me everything about his life... he didn't have a good childhood... he was beaten when he was younger. He was nice... considerate... so loyal that it annoyed me at times, but we were too different. He was not the dream man I wanted. First of all he wasn't a virgin and I wanted to date a virgin so that if the time comes... we'd share something special together. He smokes... which I hate. He also is a gothic kind of guy (you know what I mean?) which I really don't like. I'm not a gothic person... in any way. So things were getting bumpy. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere. His exact words: "Everytime we move one step up, something knocks us down 3 more steps". Which was true.

Then my best friend from Costa Rica came to visit me here in Florida (I lived in Costa Rica for 12 years and moved to Florida a year ago). I didn't chat much at all during the week that she visited me. Then the week ended and she left. He was so lonely and sad that I hadn't chatted with him for a long time. He said that he sent me his picture via snail mail since he didn't have one scanned. I was like: Ok! Cool! So now I get to see my man. I recieved his picture a few days after my friend left and it was a total disaster. He didn't meet my "physical requirements".... not to be mean or snobby... or materialistic. But he was a big man with a face of some mass murder. There wasn't a trace of friendliness in his face in the picture. I was stunned and devastated.

That picture opened my mind up and I saw that he wasn't the man I was looking for. I dumped him by sending an email that I don't love him the way I thought I did. It was hard for me and him. I was feeling so guilty about hurting him so badly. He's very emotional and sensitive.... so that made things worse. 2 days after our break up... things started to get better as we chatted lots together in the scifi room. Then I met another man. He saw that I was miserable through chat and asked me what was wrong by whispering me. And that's when it was born: another relationship. He made me laugh when I was feeling at my worse and he was just so wonderful! He said that he was in the NAVY for a bit... just basic. However, he had a reputation for being a player when it came to relationships. He was a tremendous flirt and had a twisted mind (he was jokingly perverted... nothing serious or offending... really funny). He is 25 and lives in Tennessee (he's soon to be 26 in a few days). He had a not-serious girlfriend on chat whom he broke up with because he wanted to go out with me. I accepted this because he was such a sweetie... or so I thought. Well things went well until this stupid lady in scifi room started this quarrel about how 25 year olds cannot date 15 year olds.... and that she'd sue him etc etc. So he changed his name and banished from the scifi room. He "broke up" with me and then contacted me again with a new name. He said that he just had to eliminate himself from that room so that he wouldn't get in trouble. I was so hurt when he broke up... but he wasn't serious about it. It was just a plan you know? Anyway things went beautifully after that. He sent me his picture and he was so gorgeous to me. He was a very attractive man. For the past 6 months (we started dating July 23rd) me and him have been together. I plan to... correction... I AM see him this summer... my 16th birthday is in April. Everything is looking good so far right? Well remember how he had a rep for being a flirt? I denied it... and denied it... but he is a huge flirt. He flirts with so many girls on the net.... it hurts me so much. But he doesn't flirt when I'm around the room... However, other girls are all over him. He says that he loves me and everything. I love him too. I know it's real love, I don't believe that you can't fall in love with someone you haven't seen.

Right now I'm going to confront him about his little flirting sessions. He just likes to have fun... he tells everyone that he has a girlfriend (which would be me) but still! I have to stop his flirting! I give him everything I can... I wish the same from him in return. I hate accusing him of things like this.... it has come up before.... There's my incomplete story. I will mail u the result of my visitation to him and how it all turned out. There's a lot more to come....

The Reply - Lemme set you straight on a couple of facts. Fact: At 15 you have no concept of what real love is. You've developed an idea of real love from movies, television and books. You cannot fall in love with someone you've never met. Fact: At 25, this man has no problem telling you that he's willing to break the law to visit you. Your actions can get him in jail, his actions can get you killed. Are you insane???

You are putting yourself in a dangerous position, and if he's truly harmless just stupid, you're endangering his freedom. You need to stick to relationships that will move at the speed you can handle them, and that means people closer to your own age. There's usually a reason that young girls seek out older men.. parents divorced? Dad distant and not around much? Starved for approval and affection? What's his excuse? The only thing a 25 year old man can want from a 15 year old girl is sex, and that's just plain sick. Tell your parents then drop this guy like the bad habit he is. It's not encumbent upon you to stop him from flirting, you have a responsibility to protect yourself and not endanger the welfare of others.