We’ve all been there. The dating profile. We struggle to express ourselves with the right words. The right tone. The right mix of self deprecating wit and sassiness. Just the right amount of snark. The perfect locution. But what do we get instead? Well, it’s about as comprehensible as your 15 year old niece’s text message.
If it seems like online dating is an art form, that’s probably because it is. By default, it has to be. Online dating is a $2.5 Billion a year industry in the U.S. alone, and with those numbers, competitiveness can seem like a relatively fierce process. Fierce… but not impossible.
Sure, a picture is always going to be critical. But it takes more than looks to command attention. How do you present yourself? How much background about your life are you prepared to reveal? What makes you unique? Compelling? Worth getting to know? What makes you stand out?
Unfortunately, for many of us these sort of questions only lead to other questions. Questions which might seem long winded. But they don’t have to be. If you’re looking to write the perfect online dating profile, it starts with honest assessment… and following a few specific pointers.
What’s My Story?
Every single one of us has a story to tell, even if our reasons for dating online can vary. And what you find to be banal or inconsequential just might prove fascinating to the right person.
Consider writing a profile like painting a portrait. What are you trying to convey? What are your motivations? Dreams? Is there a complexity in your self description? What sort of people will discover it? How you express yourself (for better or worse) will dictate what sort of people will be attracted to your profile. Take your time and express yourself wisely.
Show And Tell
Perhaps you’re the sort of person who has a fairly broad and eclectic set of interests. But will the person who shares your love for Victorian historical novels be likely to recognize that if you merely list reading as a hobby? Have you travelled frequently and extensively? If so, indicate where (perhaps the more exotic, the better.) Be as detailed as you can in describing your interests, and you’ll likely find the same sort of thoughtfulness in your replies.
A Picture Isn’t Always Worth A Thousand Words
If you’re simply relying on your best pictures to convey a sense of who you are, it’s likely going to be misleading at best. And at worst, it will only attract fairly shallow responses. How would your friends and family members describe you? Loyal? Quirky? Affectionate? All of these are positive traits, and traits that should be focused on in your dating profile.
The key is to be selective in focusing on your traits. Few people wish to read a profile the length of “War and Peace” when a few concise sentences would be perfectly adequate. Learn to describe without being overly descriptive and cast a sense of mystery over your profile.
Avoid Emphasizing The Negative
Naturally, you’ll be tempted to let them know the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But cynicism is rarely endearing. In fact, for many people it’s an absolute turn off. And you’re on a dating site to attract people, not scare them away.
It’s common for many people choosing to date online to have a history of relationships that did not end well. But to focus on those relationships with bitterness will tend to give an impression that you’re attracting bad relationship material for a reason. Don’t focus on past deeds. It simply makes you look like you have yet to get over them.
Who Are You Looking For?
This tends to be a common mistake many people make when writing a dating profile. They express themselves eloquently. Sometimes, too eloquently. They’ve listed their background, their interests and come across both sophisticated, sexy and above all… sane.
But they haven’t specified who it is they’re looking for. And they inevitably wind up disappointed with the level of responses they receive.
The more specific you are about the characteristics of your ideal mate, the easier it will be for them to find you. But you can’t get them to find you until you’ve described them. Focus on character, not superficial traits. That speaks more about you as a person than all the effort you’ve put into your profile so far.
Lurn 2 Spel Reel Gud
While no one is expecting you to be Shakespeare on your profile, the fundamentals of spelling and grammar are increasingly rare traits. They’ll actually help you stand out even more if your profile is well worded and chosen carefully. It shows thoughtfulness, time and effort. All of which will make your profile that much more appealing.
A thoroughly written online dating profile is one of the keys to online dating success. And when you’re ready to take the plunge, these tips can come in handy!