(Disclaimer: The opinions in this article only represent the author’s viewpoint and don’t represent Safer Dating’s viewpoint. The content in this article is for general information purpose only.)
After interviewing many Ukrainian ladies, I can confirm that true love definitely exists. As I see it, whether unconditional love exists or not is a question that we can explore. Please let me explain.
There is a misconception that mentors help you unconditionally.
Let’s start from looking at mentorship if you are wondering where in your life you could use more mentors. It is said that you are the average of five people you spend your time with, so having some mentors is certainly very important for your personal growth – no one gets there alone. Who has influence over you? They are your real mentors and real peer group.
When you try to build your dream team, you realize that you need fresh blood in your social circle. But in reality, you should be aware of this fact: no one has the obligation to help you. Your mentors don’t have unconditional love for you. No relationship will last where there is no win-win.
Even your parents’ love for you is conditional to some degree.
Perhaps the greatest love of all is parents’ love for their children, but even that is oftentimes not unconditional love. Most parents expect their children to be successful and treat them well when they are old. In other words, parents expect to have Return on Investment (ROI), and there is nothing wrong with that.
I spoke to a Ukrainian lady who told me that her grandmother had children because she had to – her children were her retirement plan, as at that time, that was the only way to have financial security when someone gets old.
Instead of focusing on looking for unconditional love, you’d better focus on how you contribute to a relationship – what value can you bring to the table?
In my view, unconditional love doesn’t exist in romantic relationships because only mutually beneficial relationships can last forever – everyone is thinking, “What’s in it for me?”
A relationship has three pillars: 1) emotional connection; 2) intimacy; 3) mutual benefits. Frankly, it’s hard to measure emotional connection, although it’s the most important part of a relationship. Also, intimacy may decrease as time goes by. Therefore, mutual benefits could be the most sustainable factor in a long-term relationship.
Develop some rituals that make you bring value to a relationship – your rituals write the script you want for your life. For example, you spend quality time with your Ukrainian wife every weekend; you have a date night with your wife from Ukraine every Wednesday night.
These rituals will make your love life more meaningful and interesting.
How to determine whether a Ukrainian mail-order bride is the right candidate:
Questions to help you determine –
- “Are you looking for a relationship right now?”
- “What do you think of international dating?”
- “When was your last relationship?”
Observe her behavior –
- How much time does she spend on Instagram every day? Note that Instagram is all about “body confidence” (read: women wearing very little), so if a woman is on Instagram all the time, she is probably not going to be a traditional wife.
- What are her hobbies?
- Does she read books or fashion magazines only?
- Does this Ukrainian lady have a positive relationship with her family?
- How does she treat waiters and waitresses in restaurants when you go out with her?
When you are on a date with a woman from Ukraine, you can talk about women you’ve refused in the past and why. Be prepared to talk about why her approach is different and earned your attention.
If you are already in a relationship with a Ukrainian woman, you still need to learn something new behind the scenes. Never stop learning.
Be a rare gemstone: someone with unique pairings who can’t be replaced – you are playful and serious, fun and classy, edgy and old-fashioned / traditional.
Be the person that when you do something together, it’s more fun doing it with you than with anyone else. Be the guy that when she starts to explore a relationship with you, it keeps getting better and better. Exploring this world with you will be like exploring every fantasy she has ever had. You and your Ukrainian girlfriend are a team.
Pay specific compliments and indirect compliments. For instance, you admire something you know she is great at; you admire someone for something she didn’t even know she did well. You start to build a long-term relationship with her when she shows you a level of commitment that warrants that. When it’s necessary, you may reevaluate your rules but always maintain your standards.
When you take her to a party, you should command a room like a king. Take charge of a conversation before it begins – be the alpha male.
When you are there, you need to know your audience by reading the room – Who is important? Who is not important? Is there any tension? What’s the normal convention here?
If you are nervous, use humor – humor is the best weapon in social dynamics.
Tell your Ukrainian girlfriend that she is pretty in front of others – that’s a phenomenal compliment.
Here’s my recommendation:
When people are dating, they should tell a woman that she is smart and tell a man that he is handsome or attractive. When people are married, they should tell the wife that she is beautiful and tell the husband that he is smart.
That’s my theory (I was told that interesting people have theories on things).
Feel free to have a conversation in any topic and have opinions on things. That means you need to pay attention, learn stuff and watch the right TV programs.
If you are going out for the first date with a Ukrainian lady, you need to do your homework first because preparation is the key – prepare five things that interest you to talk about.
Never stop impressing – that’s my advice for the first date. Be passionate – people want to be around people they like, so it’s important to maintain your enthusiasm.
Stuff leads to stuff, so keep doing it. Even if you aren’t impressed by the lady on the first date, it doesn’t necessarily mean the date is bad. In fact, you never know what will happen because of that. I have a friend who went out with a woman once and he didn’t like her. But on his way home, he approached an elegant lady. Now she has become his girlfriend.
Ideally, your Ukrainian girlfriend should be a good woman with an edge – she is traditional and elegant, but she is also able to surprise you in the right ways.
Positive thoughts lead to positive destiny. Passionate people are passionate about everything they do! Not only one thing. The world around us is a reflection of who we are. Just keep working on yourself and the universe gives you resilience.
“In order to attract a beautiful lady from Ukraine, you have to be amazing yourself!”