After a painful breakup, many men have realized that international dating is much less stressful for them, which is true. As far as I know, Eastern European women are more easy-going – they are not high-maintenance woman.
- You are not alone; everyone has had at least one bad breakup.
If you feel like the pain will never go away, trust me – feeling pain means you are able to feel pleasure in the future. You are a normal person.
If you need inspiration to go out tonight, just say “hi” and smile & ask yourself, “What can I bring to this evening?” (What do others see you?) When you go out, notice the smell, the carpet and the music. Remember: every person leads to somewhere. Every interaction may change your life forever. Let me explain.
In 2007, I had a co-worker who was keen to get married. Due to his influence, I also became proactive and met someone that I was attracted to. However, that relationship wasn’t good and it ended badly. On surface level, I could blame my co-worker who pushed me into the dating thing when I was enjoying my single life. But because of that negative experience, I started to learn a lot about dating and relationships – I wanted to heal; I wanted to grow; I wanted to improve myself.
Then I met someone else pretty quickly. Although this relationship also didn’t work out, this person started a business with me & all of my current business skills were learned during that period of time. Without that experience, I wouldn’t become who I am today.
My conclusion: Every person leads to somewhere. Don’t feel daunted when you go through a painful breakup.
- If you’re about to call or text your ex, do something productive instead!
If you’re down about being alone, remember: solitude is a good thing. It’s important for your own growth – you need to have solitude in order to learn and grow. Robert Greene famously said, “If a person can’t stand loneliness, this person can only go so far in life, because doing any kind of great work requires the ability to be alone.”
Think about who you want to be, and become that person. Let’s say you want to be someone who is dating an Eastern European woman, then you should join an international dating website that introduces Eastern European ladies to western men.
Have an identify statement for yourself. That’s what you will bring to your next relationship.
If you’re going crazy with jealousy because your ex has found a new partner, you must have standards to demand what a woman needs to aspire to. If you are worried that your ex is the only woman left, then just go out and be proactive. Or you can stay at home and join an international dating site. Indeed, nowadays online dating is mainstream, so all you need to look for is a safe online dating experience.
If your ex doesn’t come back, she is not your soulmate, no matter how much you want her. The world is your buffet – you can pick the woman you want.
If you’re worried that your life has lost its meaning without your ex, just remember: your worst problem is somebody else’s dream scenario – can you imagine how many children are starving to death each year in Africa? If a bad breakup is the most painful thing in your life, then you’ve never had a real problem in your life.
Enjoy being single now. You will be in a relationship for a long time in the future. Choose to be happy. Yes, happiness is a choice; it’s a decision. Write down ten things that you are grateful for now. Focus on the good. Build your resilient muscles. Even though the painful breakup is traumatic, you can have Post-Traumatic Growth rather than Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Be patient. Take the time it deserves to heal first. You already have all the resources that you need to recover, so now it’s only a matter of time and effort/diligence.
- If you’re going to date an Eastern European lady, you should know that because Eastern European ladies are very attractive, other men will look at her as well – now it’s time to learn how to permanently get rid of jealousy.
First, note that women adhere to the parameters you set them. You decide what’s cool and what’s not. That’s the dynamic you set for the rest of the relationship. Therefore, you should play the honesty card without any intense emotions. Be relaxed and be in control. Let’s say your girlfriend flirted with another guy in front of you, you can say, “I have to tell you that what you did was not cool, for you to do that is just not a turn-on.”
If she carries on, you drop the affection, but you need to show her that you are not angry.
If she carries on, you back off & build your life gradually – let her feel that she is losing you. She is not getting your time anymore. Don’t get upset. Don’t try and make her jealous. Don’t give her ultimatum. A high-value man is in demand and has a fantastic life he is proud of. A high-value guy really enjoys life, has genuine core confidence and thinks he is attractive. This high-value guy treats people well because he is classy.
A high-value person doesn’t even retaliate – he doesn’t make an attack in return for a similar attack.
Normally, after hearing “that is just not a turn-on”, your Eastern European girlfriend will realize that flirting with other men or getting other men’s attention isn’t a good way to make you love her more. It will only make you lose respect for her. After telling her that, you should give her a few days to process what you’ve told her!
If you become jealous and pay attention to her tremendously, she will think, “Oh, flirting with other men is an effective way to get my boyfriend’s attention, so I should do this again in the future.”
Always reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. If you get jealous, you are actually rewarding her bad behavior because you are giving her more attention after she has flirted with other men. That’s not what you want!
- Personal development in the new chapter of your life:
First of all, you need a roadmap because you have to know where you are going. You should set goals in the first place. After a while, your roadmap is going to change, and that’s okay. Just stay well-calibrated.
Second, you need to have accountability, i.e. consequences to ensure you don’t take your foot off the gas pedal. Different types of accountability: witnesses to your goals; deadlines; a combination of those two.
Third, you need to find at least one mentor. These people will give you the helicopter ride which will provide you with the fast-track to success. Excel and you will get the mentor. You need to provide value for them first.
Finally, you need the right peer group. People around you should be supportive – they have to be individuals who want to help you become successful.
From now on, please avoid the default life. Comfort is the biggest enemy of growth.
“Different types of mentors – 1) mentors you can access & you can learn their rituals; 2) mentors you can’t access & they become your inspiration.”