In truth, relationships are not easy. There are household chores, children, in-laws, compromises, and so forth. Those are the unpleasant realism that people have to face. However, the fantastic news is you are able to make a romantic relationship easy if you implement the ideas in this post. 😊
- Why are relationships hard?
First of all, a serious relationship is not merely about love. I also hope it’s just about love, yet realistically, a long-term relationship involves other aspects which people don’t always enjoy – career choices, finances, where to live, and so on. These may erode the love that you have for your partner.
Second, a romantic relationship is possibly less romantic than you think. I wish each relationship is as romantic as those love songs on the radio, but actually, a real relationship cannot remain too romantic when two individuals spend a lot of time with each other for decades while doing household chores, saving money for an apartment, taking care of children, etc. When doing dishes / laundry, bringing up kids and the mortgage are involved, it’s not easy to think about romance at the same time.
Having said that, there are various ways to make a romantic relationship relatively easy to manage. Note that the real reason why so many relationships are hard is because individuals hardly ever communicate their standards as well as expectations clearly and cleanly. When confusion is constantly present, a romantic relationship will become more and more challenging. As a result, you’d better master communication skills and tactfully interact with your partner. If your partner crosses the boundary or violates your standards, you must let them know what went wrong so they won’t make the same mistake in the future.
You must establish solid boundaries if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. There is a book called Boundaries in Marriage in which the author claims that if you don’t know what your key boundaries are, your romantic partner will surely cross the boundaries. As a consequence, neither of you will be happy. So, you need to identify your non-negotiables and strike a balance between ‘compromise’ and ‘getting my own needs met’.
- International dating in today’s day and age:
A romantic relationship should have 3 key pillars: A) emotional connection; B) intimacy; C) a shared vision. The mainstream society merely talks about emotional connection for some reason. Frankly, if you do not fully understand all 3 key pillars, you may find dating and relationships very hard.
First and foremost, emotional connection is about the shared experiences that result in love, two compatible value systems as well as mutual respect in a relationship. The meaningful conversations you have with your lady on Sunday mornings, the quality time you spend with her and the major obstacles you overcome along the way lead to a very strong connection.
In the second place, intimacy is paramount because without intimacy, a romantic relationship is not romantic. So, intimacy is the real foundation for a sustainable relationship. A relationship without intimacy is only a friendship. Worse still, it can even become a loveless relationship.
The third pillar is something that a lot of people avoid talking about. A shared vision is basically about what you want to achieve together: Do you want to have children? Do you plan to run a business together? Are you going to pursue the same goals in life? When you have a shared vision with your lady, the relationship will be stronger. 😊
Truthfully, if a romantic relationship has 1 pillar in it, it’s not bad.
If a relationship has 2 pillars, it’s good.
If a relationship has all 3 pillars, this couple must be featured on TV. 😉
“Of course, sometimes you can have 1 major pillar which represents 80% of your relationship, and you also have another pillar which represents 20% of the relationship. That’s fine. I’m not saying you definitely need all three pillars at the same time. I mean you should be aware of these 3 pillars and cultivate whatever you need accordingly.”