Usually, there are two reasons why men can’t get the second date – 1) Women think they are too boring. 2) Women pigeonhole them as “the fun guys who don’t know what love is”. Let’s analyze what’s happening to the first category: boring guys. When a boring guy is on a date with a girl, he agrees with everything she says. He wants to find a high degree of commonality. He is eager to establish a good rapport with the girl. Well, technically, there is nothing wrong with that. But the boring guy doesn’t understand female psychology, so he basically has “the nice guy syndrome” – he believes that if he is nice to women, women will like him. Look, there is a difference between being nice and being kind. Being kind is a quality that everyone admires, but being nice is sometimes a questionable quality because you have to ask yourself, “Why am I so nice to women? Am I nice to women because I am genuinely kind? Or am I nice to women because I want women to like me?”
- Don’t be creepy!
When you’re on a date with a lady, she might find you creepy if all you’re doing is having fun and suggesting intimacy. That’s not what high-quality women respond to. Remember: high-quality women pursue the fun side of a relationship as well as the deep and meaningful side of a relationship.
Consequently, fun guys who don’t know what love is, rarely get a second date. Period.
- What’s the solution?
This isn’t rocket science, so you’ll be able to figure it out – as long as you’ve mastered the following three tools, you’ll make her want a 2nd date with you.
When you’re playful and spontaneous, you’re taking the girl back to the playground. She feels sensually alive and mentally relaxed. This is the fun part of the dynamics – it’s absolutely necessary on the first date.
- Emotional Connection
I’m not talking about your childhood trauma here. Actually, you’re not supposed to talk about emotions that are too serious on the first date, so please avoid talking about negative emotions such as tragedies and how badly your ex treated you.
On the first date, the best way to build an emotional connection with the lady is to share something insightful. For example, you can talk about a difficult decision that you’ve made and then you say, “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” A client of mine told the lady that he recently broke up with his business partner and that wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, and then he said to her, “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” Immediately, the lady started to pay full attention to everything he was saying and she even asked him, “What do you usually do on weekends?” (She wanted him to ask her out again; hence, he secured a second date without trying.)
You don’t have to look like Leo DiCaprio in order to create chemistry on a date. Yet you do have to know how to make the spark alive.
Being aware of the above-mentioned three tools isn’t enough. You need to know how to use them properly!
The most important principle is to weave each of these tools in and out of the conversations with a woman on the first date.
“In the online dating world today, are you able to keep a high-value woman?”