We’ve all been there – almost everyone has had at least one painful breakup in their life. So, you are not alone. I understand the frustrations, loneliness, and lack of self-confidence after the breakup, but I also know you can change the dynamics in your reality and start a safe dating journey as soon as possible.
- The fact that a relationship has ended doesn’t mean it has failed.
You two are not together anymore, but it doesn’t mean that relationship wasn’t valuable.
I would argue that this relationship has added some very good value to your life.
Maybe your ex has taught you things and brought unforgettable experiences to your life – those are all meaningful and positive elements in that relationship.
Therefore, I’d like to encourage you to write down a list of positivity – how has that relationship benefited you?
This is my best friend Iona’s list:
- My ex-boyfriend suggested that I should get an advanced degree, so now I have a Master of Business Management. I can use this degree for the rest of my life.
- We have traveled the world together. Very memorable experiences with lots of learning.
- He introduced his network to me. Because of his contact, I have found a good job.
- How to grow out of the pain:
It’s time to focus on what you have learned from this relationship and the breakup.
These are very helpful lessons that only this situation can teach you.
I will give you Iona’s example, too:
- I’ve learned that I should have set boundaries from the beginning of that relationship. I shouldn’t have let my ex-boyfriend be involved in the drama of my family.
- I must have high standards and stick to my standards. I need to know my non-negotiables at all times, e.g., a man must respect me in the first place, because there is a big difference between liking a woman and respecting a woman.
- Now I know that I don’t want someone who is controlling and manipulative. Although my ex helped me in terms of my education and career, he had his own agenda in that process. Next time when I look for a partner, I have to make sure this candidate doesn’t have a questionable motive.
- How to find confidence, begin your safe dating journey and meet the right person:
It turns out that confidence can be built if you believe it!
First, you’ll start from the obvious, i.e., you may upgrade your wardrobe and work on your grooming, as your external confidence directly affects how you feel, thereby influencing your internal confidence.
Your clothes don’t have to be expensive, yet they have to be right.
Also, you would be well-advised to build a fantastic lifestyle that you’re proud of.
For example, you can pursue career success and enjoy your hobbies. When you are ready to meet someone new, you will have a wonderful life that the new candidate wants to be a part of.
“It’s time to let your safe dating journey unfold in front of you.”