I spoke to several Ukrainian ladies last week – all of them shared very insightful comments with me. Apparently, these women know how to live a good life!
- It is very important to prioritize leisure time.
In modern society, many people think hustling all the time is of vital importance. But that’s far from the truth. In fact, hustling all the time only leads to burnout and anxiety.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying you shouldn’t work hard. I mean you’d better find some work/life balance so that you can actually enjoy life. You only have one life. Please cherish your life.
A Ukrainian lady told me that she schedules leisure time on her Google Calendar. If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real! So, she showed me her Google Calendar full of different colors (different activities have different colors on her calendar). Interestingly, ‘leisure time’ occupies a significant percentage of her calendar. She points out that because she can see ‘leisure time’ on her calendar, she looks forward to it! The anticipation gives her positivity and happiness!
Research shows that people who rest for 5 or 6 hours a day are the happiest people. That means you are supposed to finish work at 5pm and then have some rest before you go to bed at 10pm or 11pm. Rest and sleep aren’t the same thing. Rest is about being awake while relaxing.
If you’ve mastered the art of rest, you will be truly happy. 😊
- If you can’t be happy when you are single, you also can’t be happy when you are in a relationship.
A relationship isn’t the answer if you are unhappy, because when you start a relationship, you will need to contribute to the relationship. A happy person is a giver as the happy person shares happiness with their partner. If you are unhappy, you don’t really have much to offer.
Interestingly, a Ukrainian woman claims that she has read Bella DePaulo’s books on the benefits of being single. Bella DePaulo is a well-known author who has written books such as Singled Out and Singlism. She argues that single people have been discriminated against for a very long time in our society and this should be corrected. Although a partnered lifestyle is celebrated by the mainstream culture, we shouldn’t discriminate against single people.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I live a single lifestyle, I notice many interesting things:
- When I go to a restaurant, the waiter or waitress would ask me how many people will be sitting at my table. If I say ‘only myself’, even I feel a bit weird.
- When I was working for an organization in a traditional industry, my co-workers would ask me to do some of their work because they have to go home early in order to look after their spouse or children.
After speaking to other single people, I realized that these are really common everywhere.
Indeed, finding a relationship is actually about sharing your wonderful world with another person – you are there to give. Thus, if you have very little to offer, you can’t find a satisfying relationship. Period.
That means if you are keen to find a relationship, you need to know how to be single first: Do you have interesting hobbies? Are you curious about life? What’s your career blueprint? Who are your friends? These are extremely important questions in your single life.
Of course, I have to acknowledge that most people still prefer a partnered lifestyle – this is more likely to be the preference in the mainstream society, and there is nothing wrong with that. But the foundation for a good and healthy relationship is the fact that two people are able to be independent in the first place.
- Modern people need more social activities.
A major study reveals that modern people have more and more mental health issues. When people were living in tribes and forests, those communities were very close. During recent years, a lot of people are isolated and have no friends. This is especially true when social media has become popular – instead of having genuine connections in real life, lots of people only look at their phones.
Last month, a Ukrainian woman pointed out that this is the first time for human beings to be separated from each other. No wonder mental health problems are so commonplace nowadays. Issues like depression and anxiety are signals – they are telling you that you have unmet needs.
“Instead of focusing on ‘me’ and ‘you’, let’s focus on ‘we’ and ‘us’!”