Dating is certainly not the easiest thing in the world. Here is a list of red flags that you should be aware of.
- Is the relationship moving too quickly?
When a relationship moves too fast, it quickly fulfills your desire to be wanted by someone. But if things are going by at lightning pace, the relationship can be problematic because trust should develop organically in a healthy relationship.
Sometimes, the opposite is also a red flag – when someone that you’ve been dating for months avoids labels, you may want to find out why. Let’s say you even need to initiate a ‘What are we’ discussion after dating this person for 4 months & this person says, “I dislike labelling things” – chances are the person you are dating isn’t serious. Therefore, it is a red flag as well. Worse still, if secrecy is the theme of your relationship, it usually means you have never met your partner’s friends or family even after dating for a long time – this is another red flag which indicates they are hiding something from you.
In conclusion, a healthy relationship is supposed to grow naturally (not too quickly, not too slowly).
Another red flag is inconsistency, i.e., this person wants to see you all the time in Week 1, but then this person disappears in Week 2. This becomes an on-and-off relationship which is probably bad for you. Another major red flag to pay attention to!
- Does your partner have many crazy psycho exes?
Remember: how someone describes their exes tells you how this person reacts in romantic relationships, because they are the common denominator.
If the individual you are seeing has a long list of crazy psycho exes, think again – why does this person choose those people in the first place? Is this person responsible for their own happiness / life?
Personally, I have to say that even though I’m not with my exes anymore, I still think they are great because they have added good value to my life by making me who I am today. Even though they didn’t proactively help me at that time, I think they caused those circumstances that gave me opportunities to learn and grow. That’s how I become mature as time goes by.
- Does your partner withdraw whenever there is a conflict?
Every relationship has disagreements, so conflict is inevitable. What really matters is how everyone reacts to disagreements. If your partner withdraws every time there is a conflict, it’s a huge red flag. The right person has to be able to communicate properly in a relationship.
A good partner must work through things with you. Stone wall treatment is always wrong.
Note that there are always 2 sides to each story. When “sorry” is the hardest word, the relationship becomes difficult.
Also, if you are dating a boundary pusher, be aware! What would a boundary pusher do?
- The boundary pusher may go to your workplace to surprise you when you haven’t even updated your relationship status on Facebook yet.
- The boundary pusher will probably ask for your social media passwords.
- The boundary pusher might compromise your standards, e.g., you have to give up your friendship with people who are important to you, simply because the person you are dating don’t get along with your best friends.
- The boundary pusher threatens you by saying, “If you don’t take me to XYZ for my birthday, I will break up with you!”
These are all big red flags. Don’t ignore them!
“In order to stay safe in dating, you must know these red flags.”