If you’ve been reading this blog, you probably already know that having an identity statement is of vital importance. But what’s next in your personal development and your internet dating journey?

  • The power of rules:

Once you’ve written down your identity statement, you can set several rules. For example, you will eat fruit and vegetables every day; you will go to bed before 10pm every night…. Just try your best to stick to your new rules.

Here’s the summary:

New identity new rules commitment results motivation

Yes, commitment comes before motivation.

It turns out that you don’t necessarily have to read motivational books or listen to motivational speakers so as to stay motivated.

  • A word about commitment:

British author Matthew Hussey famously said, “Ordinary things that are done consistently lead to extraordinary results.”

The keyword is “consistently”.

What results in consistency? Truthfully, the only way to achieve consistency is to maintain commitment. Can you ensure commitment in your daily life?

Let’s say your new rules are:

  • Eat fruit and vegetables every day;
  • Go to bed before 10pm every night.

It doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up if you forgot to eat an apple yesterday or went to bed at 10:10pm last night. All you need to do is to get back on the right track as quickly as possible!

That’s exactly how commitment works in reality. 

internet dating

  • Why goal-setting doesn’t work:

I don’t have anything against goal-setting. As a matter of fact, I think setting some goals is a great way to help us become successful because we need to know what we want to achieve in the first place.

Nevertheless, most people write down their New Year’s Resolutions or set a few goals each year, but the majority of people can’t stick to their New Year’s Resolutions at the end of January and apparently can’t achieve their goals either. Consequently, they write down the same New Year’s Resolutions and set the same goals the next year! It’s good to have hopes and dreams, but perhaps the way most people go about this is wrong because obviously, goal-setting doesn’t work for the majority of the population.

There are several reasons why goal-setting doesn’t work:

  1. Goal-setting requires motivation. It’s easy to be motivated on January 1st, but it’s hard to be motivated on February 1st. Motivation doesn’t come easy when other aspects aren’t looked after.
  2. If a person’s identity isn’t sorted, goal-setting never works. Setting a goal only means knowing what you want, yet it doesn’t tell you how to get what you want. Meanwhile, you can’t rely on motivation alone anyway.
  • The truth about motivation:

Frankly, people who keep asking how to stay motivated are probably asking the wrong question. 

Why do you want to stay motivated?

Nobody wants to stay motivated for the sake of staying motivated. Everyone wants to stay motivated because they want to make their dreams come true.

If you truly want your dreams to come true, don’t focus on looking for motivation. You’d better focus on being the new person that you want to be and allow life to unfold in front of you!

The new person = an dater

The new life = success in internet dating


 “This is the raw truth about goal-setting and motivation.”