Don’t blame the modern dating climate. Don’t blame your circumstances. I know these can be legitimate reasons why you are single, but chances are you can’t change the current dating climate and can only control your circumstances to some degree. Therefore, what really stops you from finding love is… your mindset! 👨‍🦰

  • Are you accepting less than what you desire?

Here is my philosophy: When somebody shows you who they are, you should believe them the first time!

Are you looking for excuses to justify why you should continue seeing that person who does not give you what you deserve?

If you are dating someone who doesn’t respect you, it’s time to say no. Saying no gives you the new opportunity to say yes later when the right person comes along.

Also, sometimes you just have to say no in order to feel that you deserve something better! 👩‍🦰

  • Are you avoiding being the center of attention?

Do you always wear casual clothes / cheap clothes?

Are you often quiet whenever you go to parties?

If you constantly avoid being the center of attention, finding love is going to be hard because in order to attract someone, you must get their attention first. ☕

finding love

  • Are they good enough for you?

If you are perfectly fine with being single and nobody is good enough for you, chances are you can’t find love.

Independence is great – you have a career, a social circle, hobbies, etc. But your love life is also important – you need someone to share your success with. 🧁

Don’t worry about whether the person you are dating has a degree / a high-profile job / a fancy car. You’d better figure out whether that person makes you feel supported, respected, and cared for. Stop objectifying the date and start connecting with them! 🥤

When somebody makes a consistent effort in order to know you a bit more, you would be well-advised to let them in a bit more, as long as you think they are pretty good. 🥃

  • Are you lovable?

Darren Hayes has a song called Unlovable which describes how he felt when his ex-partner broke up with him. 

Do you believe you are lovable or not?

Do you have high self-esteem?

Do you like yourself?

Would you date yourself?

These questions seem very simple, but it turns out that many people find it really hard to answer these questions.

If you think you must find a real job / move out of your parents’ house / upgrade your wardrobe & then you will become lovable, yes you can do that first.

Some women feel unlovable simply because they think they need to lose weight / wear makeup / etc. – My advice for them is to do that first – if losing weight or wearing makeup makes someone more confident, it means that’s a good idea! Why not do it?

Similarly, some men feel unlovable just because they are overweight / do not have a successful career / etc. My suggestion for them is to fix that first because these problems have real solutions in reality. Why not take action now?

Having said that, I must point out that everyone is lovable. You are already lovable. You just need to know it! If doing something makes you feel more lovable, that’s great!

“No one is stopping you from finding love. Should you work on your mindset?”