If you are looking for a healthy relationship, please don’t ignore these major red flags that will be listed in this blog article today. I sincerely hope you find my safe dating advice on this blog helpful, valuable and enlightening.
- Red Flag A: Saying totalizing language
If someone keeps saying “You make me feel bad every time we go out” or “You never care about me”, this is totalizing language, i.e., “every time”, “never”, “always”, etc.
Speaking in absolutes is very dangerous because this habit is all about blaming someone else rather than taking full responsibility.
In a healthy relationship, both partners speak about their feelings as well as what they would like honestly and openly instead of blaming each other with totalizing language.
By contrast, in an unhealthy relationship, using totalizing language in arguments is a typical habit which leads to a negative pattern.
Let’s have a look at two examples below:
- “You always make me do all the housework.”
- “I feel that I’m probably doing much more housework regularly, so I’d appreciate it if you could help to some degree.”
Obviously, Example 1 is totalizing language, whereas Example 2 is effective communication. Example 1 = a red flag; Example 2 = safe dating. 😊
- Red Flag B: Justifying aggressive behavior or language by making it a sign of love.
If someone hasn’t resolved/overcome their childhood trauma which was caused by witnessing domestic violence or aggressive language/attitude, this person might justify their aggressive language or behavior by making it a sign of love.
We should feel sorry for someone like that, but it doesn’t mean we are supposed to stay in a relationship with them.
That’s another red flag that nobody should ignore.
When someone justifies their aggressive behavior/language by making it a sign of love, they might say, “I did that only because I truly love you.” But please remember that any aggressive language/behavior is a definitely not a sign of love, so it’s time to walk away.
You certainly deserve a safe dating experience, real love and a successful relationship.
“If you are a single guy looking for an amazing relationship with a good woman, be sure to visit SimplyDating.com, an online dating platform where women from Eastern Europe are looking for healthy relationships with reliable gentlemen.”
