Some men change their behaviors when they meet attractive women because they put high-value women on a pedestal. If you are wondering why you haven’t figured your love life out yet, please evaluate your behavior and ask yourself, “Would I do that when I’m hanging out with my best friend? Would I do that while I’m talking to a woman that is attracted to me?” If you wouldn’t do that when you are interacting with your best friend/a woman that is attracted to you, don’t do that when you are chatting with a woman you like. This principle will transform your experience in dating and relationships.
- Where do ineffective behaviors come from?
Most ineffective behaviors in dating come from acting inauthentically or outcome dependence. That means when your behavior doesn’t represent who you really are, it can’t lead to the result you want. Also, outcome dependence makes you unable to enjoy the journey. Note that when your goal is to have a good time on a date, you are much more attractive. In contrast, if your goal is to find a relationship as quickly as possible, she can probably see your neediness which isn’t attractive.
The typical poor mindset is overthinking. Many men overthink things so much that they miss out on a lot of opportunities – they don’t know how to approach women, so they can’t make the most of each opportunity. My advice for men who don’t know how to start conversations with women is to make sure that your interaction comes from a self-accepting and authentic frame. For example, you can say, “Hi! Actually, I feel a bit lame now because I don’t know what to say to you. But anyway, my name is ______. Maybe we can be friends. Maybe we can’t. But we’ll see….” (A good woman would appreciate your honesty.)
That reminds me of an experience that I had. When I was a call center agent in my early 20s, a caller asked me on the phone, “Why do you need to know information about XYZ?”
My answer was simple and honest: “My boss told me to ask questions about XYZ. I don’t know why I have to ask XYZ.”
The caller laughed: “Your boss told you to… Okay…” – The real answer is kind of entertaining. As a result, that telephone conversation had a happy ending. The caller didn’t complain because my authenticity worked really well.
- What about techniques for dating and relationships?
If you have read articles on this blog, perhaps you already know that I often share powerful techniques in my articles. Now I’d like to point out that techniques without a truly confident foundation might convey the wrong things and backfire.
For example, I wrote an article about how to flirt with women and the guy in that example playfully asked a woman, “Are you a good woman or a bad woman?” Thomas read that article, but because he doesn’t have a confident foundation, he asked a lady, “You are a bad woman, right?” (His tone sounds strange and his vibe is wrong.) Consequently, that lady ended the date within 20 minutes. Clearly, without a confident foundation, the technique that he learned didn’t go very well.
What creates a confident foundation? In fact, a confident foundation consists of three components:
- Masculine leadership
- Authenticity
- A confident inner core
Do you have all of these?
“Which topic would you like to discuss when it comes to dating and relationships? Please write a comment below and let me know today.”
