A woman falls in love with a man because of both comfort and chemistry. In other words, you need both comfort and chemistry in order to make a relationship happen: She has to feel comfortable with you and attracted to you at the same time. Usually, this can be done on the second date. Since I’ve written many articles about how to build chemistry with a woman, today I’d like to write something about how to build comfort. 😉
What is comfort?
Comfort is simply absence of discomfort. As long as discomfort isn’t created, comfort is present. That’s all you need to know in this regard. Let me explain.
Basically, you shouldn’t make her feel insecure, scared, intimidated or anxious. Don’t give her negative feelings. When this is done correctly, it should be very simple. 😊
How to build comfort in a relatively short period of time:
Building comfort takes time, so we are going to look at how to build comfort on the second date so that you can start a relationship as soon as possible.
The technique that I’m going to share with you is called time distortion, i.e., the feeling that more time has passed than a clock indicates. Please let me explain.
Let’s compare these two scenarios:
- You and your lady sit in a restaurant for a dinner date for four hours.
- You and your lady spend 1 hour in the gallery. Then you take her to a coffee shop for hot chocolate and chat there for half an hour. Next, you have dinner with her in a restaurant for 1.5 hours. Then you take her to an ice-cream parlor where you run into your friends, so she chats with you and your friends for half an hour. Finally, when you walk her home, you see a record store and buy a vinyl record together – you talk about music for half an hour.
The second date feels longer than the first date because it includes different contexts/venues. As a result, she feels like she has known you for a bit longer. This is really good for building comfort in a relationship.
Building comfort through commonalities:
Let’s say you love music and the lady you are seeing also loves music. When you tell her how much you love music, she feels that there is an extra layer in the dynamics – in her subconscious mind, she starts to imagine you listening to live music, her listening to a vinyl record, you going to a concert, her organizing a playlist on YouTube, etc. Therefore, this commonality makes her feel more comfortable with you.
Remember: having the same hobbies/experiences creates positive associations in her mind.
“On the second date, you would be well-advised to build deep rapport with the lady by talking about something that both of you are truly passionate about, e.g., an interest that both of you enjoy. Also, don’t forget to have engaging conversations about other topics as well, thereby building wide rapport with her and indicating social versatility. In this way, she knows if she sees you again for another date, you can talk about a wide variety of topics and she won’t be bored.”
