“I’m looking for my soulmate,” Dean said, “I just can’t find anyone suitable. What should I do?”
When Dean was consulting with me, I had to tell him the truth because nobody in his life was able to be completely honest with him & because his family and friends aren’t professional dating coaches, they couldn’t give him any solid advice in this regard. Dean has given me the permission to share his experience with my audience on this blog. I appreciate his generosity.
- What should Dean do before joining the online dating arena?
In fact, when I met Dean, he wasn’t the best version of himself & he was wondering whether he should join a dating site in order to find a partner. At that time, he was stuck at a dead-end day job that he never liked. He didn’t have a viable social circle. Apart from his family, he only spent time with two friends that he met at high school. After work, all he did was watching TV (sometimes he would go to one of his friends’ place to watch a DVD, which wasn’t too different from watching TV at home).
After evaluating his lifestyle, I gave him some honest advice, “What I’m going to tell you might sound harsh. You mentioned that you would like to find your soulmate. Let me ask you an uncomfortable but important question: Do you have a soul?”
Dean was sitting in silence for a minute. Then he said, “You are right. I don’t really have a soul because I don’t have any ambition when it comes to my career, and I don’t have any hobby. I don’t really know what I want or what I’m doing. I’m not proactively learning anything. I haven’t prioritized personal development. No. I don’t even have a soul.”
“Before joining the online dating world, you must build an amazing lifestyle first,” I said to him, “You must have a soul, and then you can start to look for your soulmate.”
- Now Dean is a changed person.
I asked Dean, “What did you genuinely enjoy doing when you were 5 years old?”
“I loved music and art,” Dean replied with some excitement in his voice, “I also loved books. I still have some children’s books at home that my parents bought me when I was very young.”
That day, Dean decided to study English literature at university. Five years later, Dean is my editor who proofreads articles written by me. I’m so proud of him because he is truly passionate about his work.
Now in his spare time, Dean goes to concerts and art galleries quite often. He is a very avid reader. He has joined a book club where he meets many like-minded people regularly. His current online dating profile is working really well for him as well.
If you find Dean’s story inspiring, please write a comment below!
Before you start your soulmate seeking journey, you have to build a wonderful soul for yourself first. 😉
