A typical issue that challenges many long-term relationships is the disappearing attraction over time. Therefore, this blog post will explore the science of keeping the spark alive. ✨
- A long-term relationship is an ongoing conversation.
Indeed, a serious relationship is a very long conversation. When a conversation is so long, people tend to make mistakes. The most common mistake that men make is explaining themselves when it’s not necessary – that diminishes attraction.
There is a variation of that mistake: trying to impress a woman by showing off what you have. This is more common at the beginning of a relationship. (Note that the beginning of a relationship is paramount because it sets the frame of the dynamics.)
For example, we all know that letting a woman know about your amazing job and your wonderful lifestyle should keep her attracted, but the fact that you have to tell her those things makes you unattractive. Hence, you would be well-advised to figure out a way to impress her indirectly, e.g., through telling her a story which implies that you have a really good job and an exciting lifestyle.
Talking about the frame of the dynamics, it’s definitely the foundation of a relationship. Usually, the frame is more powerful than the action itself. Let’s take a look at these two scenarios.
Scenario 1:
HER: Take me to Australia for a holiday!
HIM: Yes, princess.
Scenario 2:
HIM: We’re going to Australia for a holiday to celebrate our five-year anniversary.
HER: Oh. Thank you so much!
Clearly, in Scenario 1, the frame is wrong because he is beta. By contrast, in Scenario 2, the frame is right because he is the alpha leader.
- Never stop flirting with your partner.
Previously, I wrote an article about why you should never stop dating your partner. Today I’d like to point out that you should never stop flirting with your partner because flirtation is an attitude which is the cornerstone of a relationship. Yes, it’s an attitude first, and then it’s a technique. That is to say, the soul of teasing matters so much more than the words. For instance, if you say something flirtatious to a woman with a deadpan face and in a deadpan voice, the soul of teasing is lost. Consequently, what you actually say doesn’t work.
Remember, keeping a long-term relationship sparky isn’t about never making any mistake; in fact, it’s about doing so many things well, so small mistakes don’t really matter. 😉
“Keep using man-to-woman vocabulary with your partner, e.g., cute, adorable & feisty rather than platonic vocabulary when you talk to her. This is a highly effective way to keep the spark alive.”
