In today’s day and age, everyone in the dating department must learn more about dating safety because this should be the No. 1 priority for every dater nowadays. Today I’m going to outline the most common mistakes that people make in dating and relationships so that you can avoid these mistakes in the future. You are welcome 😉
Are you dating a player?
The most common mistake that people often make is being played without knowing it. This is very dangerous, so you should probably take some notes now.
Note that players are usually more suave than thirsty men/women, meaning players do not have a timetable as they are actually investing in something much bigger than what’s right in front of them. Let me show you how a player operates:
A player gasses you up to think it’s your looks or personality that attracted them in the first place, while in fact it’s your lifestyle, money or s*x that they want. Remember: time doesn’t bond you, communication does. In other words, spending time with someone can’t guarantee a true understanding of that person, but communication is so key when it comes to dating safety.
You and another person can go out for dates for years, but if you are unwilling to open up to each other, communication doesn’t really exist in this relationship. Lack of communication only makes you two as close as strangers in reality. Trust me – deep conversation is how you bond with somebody special. Please note that players do not open up, but they let you talk about your likes, dislikes, family, job, etc. Players are researching you without actually talking to you. Yes, some players will talk about themselves at times; however, they will not go beneath the surface as the first rule of playing somebody is never get too close. If you’ve been dating someone for many months and you don’t know that person beyond the basics, that means you are probably dating a player.
Therefore, a common mistake that people often make is ignoring effective communication. Always remember that talking with someone and talking to someone are very different concepts; communication has to be a two-way street in a legitimate relationship. That’s how you secure dating safety.
By the way, do you know your weakness? When a player sizes you up, they want to find certain signs. Thus, you must know where you are vulnerable in the first place before the player capitalizes. Usually, physical insecurity is the No. 1 weakness that players go for, as how you look oftentimes determines how you feel, thereby determining how you behave. For example, some overweight women have low self-esteem. Due to this factor, they allow good-looking men to enter their lives, sweet-talk them and get in their pockets easily. No matter what, nothing should make you desperate. Those players go for the stereotype, i.e. “obese women want to do anything for their boyfriends as they can’t get guys anyway.” Never play into this trap! If you think you have low self-esteem, you must face them bravely and find a way to turn the negative into a positive. Now please be honest with yourself and think about whether your physical shortcomings are a problem which leave you open for exploitation.
Talking about dating safety, another common issue is loneliness. That means many people think living alone is difficult and they desperately want someone to come save them from their loneliness. Many people fall into this category because loneliness is one of the top concerns in modern-day society, according to US author Mark Manson.
Players will analyze you and see that loneliness has beat you down, or you have been hurt before, and then pretend to save you with grand promises that are actually non-existent. Truthfully, almost everyone has an issue which can make them susceptible to being played. It’s your responsibility to fix those problems. Nobody can make you whole – if you are broken, the repair job must be done from the inside out, not from the outside in!
Check your thirst for affection and love at the door, understand which aspects of your life you are dissatisfied with, and be mindful of things when entering the dating scene. If you meet a player, he / she will pick up on those weak vibes quickly.
Do you keep learning and growing?
The second common mistake is people stop learning and growing after graduation from school or university. They think dating skills can’t be learned.
If you highly value dating safety, you must keep learning and growing. Michael Johnson once said, “Anything that isn’t growing is dying.”
Knowledge is power. Treat every candidate that you date as a textbook and study that person as if your future depends on it because it obviously does! You meet someone special and this candidate is a great conversationalist. Now during the course of the next few weeks, you must cross-examine this candidate if you think dating safety is important.
Let’s have a look at this analogy: Any reputable job checks the background references of their potential employees. Treat your relationship as it is the most sought-after job, and check that candidate’s background carefully. Players won’t give out personal details if they are there to play you. Players want to stay mysterious so that it will be easier to escape when things don’t go as planned.
Remember: when you want to get close, a player will make you feel guilty about interrogating them. So, the player might say something along the lines of, “Don’t worry about the past; let’s focus on what we have right now and think about our future.”
A dater who doesn’t dig for information certainly doesn’t understand dating safety.
I know that being nosey can be annoying; nevertheless, it is better to be annoying than to end up being played. As a matter of fact, a genuine person will go the extra mile without you having to ask; a genuine candidate gives much more than they take from you; a genuine partner’s life should be an open book. At the beginning of a relationship, you have to listen to your brain rather than your heart. Question your date’s motives when it is necessary. If you think you are being played by someone, chances are you have been played already, according to US author G. L. Lambert.
Are you assuming you know what your date thinks?
The third common mistake that people make is assuming they know what their dates think. They assume they know everything about their dates, whereas in reality, they need to talk less and listen more.
Everyone knows something about dating safety but few actually understand it. Most people’s knowledge of dating safety is taken from their limited dating experiences, word of mouth and the media. Unfortunately, these are probably generalized examples that are only based on very superficial observations.
“A worldly dater talks less and listens more on a date.”