It is said that most relationship problems are caused by misunderstanding. For instance, when you think giving your partner a gift is a way to show your love, your partner actually thinks receiving a gift without spending quality time with you indicates lack of love; hence, the conflict arises. Obviously, misunderstanding love expression (love languages) is the biggest reason why relationships are hard.
- Nobody acted wrongly but perceived wrongly because of our own love languages.
Due to the nature of my work in the international dating space, I know many couples’ true stories. Some of those aren’t the most pleasant stories in the world. But as I see it, everyone just did what they could with what they knew at that time – nobody had any bad intention in most cases. Yet why are relationships so hard? This was a myth until the five love languages are identified.
- The five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch.
Some people’s love language is words of affirmation, e.g. compliments and “I love you”. Those who are in this category are generally considered as “extraverts”.
Some individuals’ love language is acts of service, e.g., doing housework & supporting their partners’ work/career/business. Many “introverts” are in this category because they tend to say less and do more.
As to receiving gifts, this love language is quite obvious – when these people receive gifts from their partners, they feel truly loved because gifts actually make them very happy and satisfied.
Quality time is a very common love language. In my opinion, your time is your most valuable asset because you can always get your money back, but you can’t get your time back. Therefore, if you are willing to spend quality time with your partner, that definitely shows your love in a tremendous way.
In terms of physical touch, statistics show that people from certain cultures are more likely to prefer this love language. For example, individuals from Italy, France, Spain and most Latin American countries like physical touch. Having said that, we shouldn’t have any stereotypes, so I think anyone can have any of the above-mentioned love languages.
- Typical examples of the five love languages:
- Words of Affirmation: When your partner comes back home from work, you say, “Darling, I miss you so much today.” When your partner shows appreciation, you say, “Oh, I get satisfaction by giving you happiness. Loving you is the best decision in my life.”
- Acts of Service: You’ve noticed that your partner is unwell, so you organize an appointment with the doctor for your partner. Your partner is interested in meditation, you send a link to the best meditation website/music to your partner.
- Receiving Gifts: You give your partner a box of chocolate on Valentine’s Day. On your partner’s birthday, you give your partner a birthday card made by yourself.
- Quality Time: Every Saturday, you stay at home with your partner and enjoy each other’s company. Every year, you and your partner fly somewhere for a vacation together.
- Physical Touch: Intimacy is important to you and your partner. You give each other a massage at least once a week.
In conclusion, the five love languages are easy to understand. What’s more, applying this concept is simple (but it’s not easy). Therefore, you should be aware of this potential challenge and be proactive in this international dating journey.
“If you are ready for love, please watch this space as we will share with you more tips like this about international dating soon.”