Remember: commitment begins at the beginning. In business, the amount we earn is the value we give the market. In your love life, the situation isn’t too different: You have to ask yourself, “How do I give value?” “Am I adding value or am I taking value?” – analyze your answers from her perspective. Always give first; expect second. When we add value, it will come back. But it’s dangerous to rely on it coming back. We always have choices – that’s empowering. You can choose to add value to her life. When it comes to your relationship with your lady from Eastern Europe, you don’t directly control the dynamics, but you can influence the dynamics. Influence her with your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Bring out the best version of her!
- The myth about “the one”:
Note that “the one” doesn’t exist. She becomes the one by what she does. The love of your life has to adore you. She must care and invest in you.
Before you decide to start a long-term relationship with a woman, you would be well-advised to be aware of the fact that characteristics can be different, but your values have to be the same. Accept how somebody is doing things out of a value. What value system is this coming from?
No matter what happens, never play the victim. Just take responsibility for your own happiness. In my opinion, there are five conditions for success in this regard: 1) self-worth / confidence; 2) living your passions; 3) pacing the relationship; 4) slow change; 5) powerful communication.
Tell her how much it means to you if she were there for you at all times. Give her something to aspire to.
Questions to find out her values:
- What was your favorite moment in your life?
- Why? (This is crucial because her answer tells you who she is.)
Her patterns show her values. You can also ask her ambitions and blueprint – this also shows her values.
Before you begin a serious relationship with a lady from Eastern Europe, assess what you see, not what you predict. Don’t fall in love with her potential! Be careful what you forgive (there is abundance out there!) If she has something you don’t like, ask, “Is this something I can live with long term? Is it worth justifying based on her good qualities?”
What you see now is what you will get. Anything else will be a bonus. If you are not happy with something, say it playfully, “You are not one of those girls, are you?”
If she criticizes you, analyze her motive because it’s usually about him and his interests. It is your responsibility to educate her well on what your needs are. Empower her now rather than rely on her doing it.
- Be the leader of your life.
A high-value man is the leader of his life. He doesn’t need validation from his friends; he puts his wife’s needs before his own because he is generous, kind and caring.
Due to Law of Reciprocity, his Eastern European wife will give tremendous value to him as well – that becomes a virtuous circle.
When you get married, you should gradually integrate your Eastern European wife into your life. You can have some shared jokes and stories. Usually, jokes, teasing and banter can break the surface level and strengthen the bond. The number and diversity of experiences together also matters a lot because these things build emotional connection between you two.
There are three phases of a relationship: 1) politeness; 2) teasing; 3) serious rapport. This is how attraction works: you are serious; you are playful; you are serious; you are playful; you are serious. Let’s say you are playful on the date and at the end of the date, she says she has to go to the airport to pick up her mom, you say, “Be careful on the road.” Now you become serious. This builds attraction instantly.
Keep dating each other even after you are married. Use different settings for each date. Go on a holiday together! Have a date night every week!
When you spend a Saturday together, it can look like this: breakfast – cinema – coffeehouse – beach – shopping – drinks – theatre.
“Do something you wouldn’t normally do on a date so that your Eastern European lady’s world becomes better because of you.”