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As a single guy looking for love, you would probably go to social events such as parties and festivals where you can meet single women looking for true love. However, sometimes when you approach a woman, the male friend in her group stops you from interacting with her. Therefore, today’s safe dating advice is about how to stop being disrespected in this situation.
- How good are your social skills?
Usually, the male friend from her group stops you from talking to her mainly because your social skills aren’t good – he feels that something is wrong.
If you have excellent social skills, that wouldn’t happen in the first place – you make her group feel that you are fun, cool and safe; you make her feel that you are spontaneous, fun and flirty. Everyone likes you in the right ways.
This reminds me of a true story told by Taiwanese author Tammy Liu. (This story is relevant to today’s safe dating advice.)
When Tammy was a young international student in Paris, one day she went to a fashion boutique on her way home because she really liked the beautiful things that she saw from the window. While she was looking at the high-quality pants near the entrance, the salesperson was carefully looking at her as if she was a thief. Tammy thought that was racism. In that moment, as Tammy was unable to calm down & put down her pride, she walked to the cash register and picked up a necklace next to the register & said, “I’ll buy this necklace.” (In her subconscious mind, she didn’t want to look like a poor student from Asia; she didn’t want to be discriminated against.)
That necklace cost her a lot of money, so she could only afford to eat bread for more than one month! Sadly, after a little while, that necklace was lost!
In Tammy’s book, she writes, “Many years later, when I look back on that experience, I have realized that the reason that salesperson was carefully looking at me like that was because I looked strange in the boutique – I was nervous and insecure as I thought everybody was looking down upon me in that boutique. My vibe made her look at me like that.”
Now let’s think about the social scenario: A guy approaches a lady at a party. Because of his lousy social skills, the alpha male from her group stops this guy from talking with this lady. The first thing that is noticed by the alpha male is this guy’s vibe which is determined by his social skills.
Clearly, if you would like her friends to respect you, you need good social skills!
- Make things happen; don’t wait until things happen to you!
If her alpha male friend joins your conversation with her at the party, you should say something like, “Oh. Your friend must be the best dressed man in the room! This is so cool….” In other words, you’d better invite him to the interaction. When you make things happen proactively, you are in control. Otherwise, you will simply let things happen to you.
Another situation that might happen is when you are talking to a lady that you are attracted to at a party, another guy sees her and wants to join the conversation. He will probably become a competitor because chances are he wants to approach her as well. In this case, you can say something along the lines of, “Oh. Do you guys know each other? ….. Oh. You haven’t met yet?… You seem like a very cool guy. Just give me a second…. Have a good night.” (You can’t let him join the conversation to compete with you. You point out what he wants to do in a positive and friendly way. You are very polite.)
In conclusion, my safe dating advice for you is when you are approaching a woman in a social context, you should keep her attention and do things on your terms, especially while another guy is joining the interaction. That is to say, your actual approach is strong, solid and assertive, but your attitude is friendly, gentle and nice. 😉
“Are you keen to discover more ideas like this? Don’t hesitate to check out other blog posts on this website right now!”
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