“I’m a hard-case, pig-headed newbie when it comes to dating,” says Thomas, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
In fact, there are many men like Thomas – they think they are hard-case newbies, and they are not sure whether they can learn and improve. So, today’s safer dating advice is going to help men who need more confidence.
- Don’t make your problem a part of your identity.
If you have a problem, please focus on coming up with a solution. Don’t make a problem a part of your identity!
For example, Thomas’s problem is he lives with his parents – dating is very challenging due to his logistics. But he is an adult, so he can move out of his parents’ house and solve that problem.
Douglas’s problem is lack of experience – he doesn’t understand female psychology at all. But he can learn dating skills and become experienced. He doesn’t need to have an inexperienced identity.
This is probably the most important piece of safer dating advice on this blog because you have to know the importance of having a healthy and successful identity.
Next, I will show you exactly how to manage your self-talk so that you will be able to tell your brain the right things! 😊
- “I can do it!”
If you keep telling yourself “I can’t do it”, your brain will start to think you are not capable. Learned helplessness is real.
Please don’t get attached to your problems!
In contrast, if you keep telling yourself “I can do it”/ “I will learn how to do it” / “I’m making progress”, your brain will begin to figure it out!
That is to say, you need to give your brain good input so that your brain will give you good output. 😉
Please pay attention to what you read/listen/watch because it’s very important to fill your brain with positive and helpful information.
Which book are you reading now?
What podcast do you listen to in the morning?
What TV show/movie do you like watching at night?
“Ready for more safer dating advice? Check out other blog posts on this website today for more inspiration!”
