Switched-on men never play hard to get because they know it doesn’t work. Now I’m going to explain why it never works and what you should do instead in dating and relationships.

Playing hard to get is about pretending disinterest which totally misses the point.

Truthfully, someone who is playing hard to get doesn’t understand the most important element in the dynamics – women want to experience a full range of emotions. So, if you pretend that you are not interested, she is confused. Then after you finish playing mind games, she will realize that she’s got you now and she doesn’t need to impress you anymore. End of story.

That’s how a lot of couples lose the spark in their romantic relationships.

Instead, this is what you’ll do: when you notice an elegant lady likes you, you should disqualify her slightly. Now here is a list of women’s typical indication of interest:

  • She strokes her neck when she talks to you.
  • She touches her hair when she sees you.
  • She laughs at your jokes, though your jokes are not remotely funny.
  • She tilts her head to the side when she is talking to you.
  • She is obviously comfortable with you.
  • She looks at your face and seems dreamy.

So, now you can say something along the lines of, “Oh, you like Whitney Houston’s songs? Then we won’t get along” This is called disqualification which will make her work harder to attract you.

Build a genuine connection with an elegant lady.

After that, you should build an emotional connection with this woman by asking the right questions such as:

  • “What talents do you have that could impress me?”
  • “Have you experienced love-at-first-sight before?”
  • “If you can wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would that be?”

When you ask her these questions, she will somehow feel that you two are already in a relationship emotionally if she is attracted to you.

Then you can break the rapport by disagreeing with her on small things, e.g. “So, you don’t like reading? Then we can’t be friends” – say it in a joking way. Then she will want to keep impressing you.

I can give you a comprehensive example below (this is not playing hard to get; it’s actually called ‘push-pull’):

WOMAN: “I love the movie Interview with the Vampire.”

MAN: “I think that movie is pretty bad, Anne Rice’s original novel is much better.”

WOMAN: Blah, blah, blah, blah

MAN: Blah, blah, blah, blah

WOMAN: “My goal is to become a singer.”

MAN: “I admire your ambition. You are so talented.”

As you can see, this guy disagreed with this lady previously, so now his compliment becomes much more powerful – she knows his compliment is real.

In this way, this guy has stood out from the crowd; he is more alluring than most men who can only build rapport and can’t break the rapport.

It’s time to stop playing hard to get and start building a real connection with an elegant lady.

How to build a real connection with a woman:

As you’re talking to an elegant lady, you should strengthen the emotional connection with her. That is to say, after you’ve noticed that she likes you as well, you should build rapport. You may start by talking about things she is wearing, “You have a great sense of fashion. Your necklace matches your bag.” If she hears that compliment, she will be impressed as most men don’t notice any of these things. But most women put lots of effort into their looks – they think it’s their responsibility to look pretty and be presentable in front of men.

Then you can talk about something that evokes emotion, “Have you ever been in love before?” Note that all women are interested in romance, but men don’t really like talking about romance in daily conversations, so she will be interested in the topic.

From this moment on, you will be different from other men in this lady’s eyes. Besides, this question also results in the topic of dating and relationships naturally, meaning this lady might consider you as a potential partner now, and that’s exactly what you want because you are not here to be her friend – you want to date her.

How to build attraction in a safe way:

Now it’s time to break the rapport. Most women want to have exciting conversations with men because modern women are quite adventurous. Consequently, if you only build rapport, you might look boring. Therefore, you should break rapport during the interactions with the elegant lady so she can feel more attracted after seeing the perceived challenge.

No, you are not going to argue with her for no reason. You might mention a contrary view and challenge this lady occasionally. For example, you ask, “Can you cook?” Now she will have to prove herself to you and try to impress you.

Here’s a good example:

MAN: “There are four things I look for in a lady.”

WOMAN: “Which four things?”

MAN: “The first thing is intelligence.”

WOMAN: “What about the second thing?”

MAN: “The second is kindness.”

WOMAN: “How about the third thing?”

MAN: “The third thing is generosity.”

WOMAN: “And the fourth?”

MAN: “No. I shouldn’t tell you that.”

WOMAN: “Why?”

MAN: “Because you might fake it.”

Now you can see this conversation shows you how to challenge a lady in the right way. It’s a very good example as the guy has pre-framed the conversation. Now in this woman’s subconscious mind, she wants to become his ideal lady as women are competitive, too. What’s more, it shows this guy’s high standards, which makes him look more attractive overall.

Become a high-value guy who doesn’t need to play hard to get.

If a guy only issue challenges without being a high-value individual, ladies will notice that as women are more sensitive. Please note that if you are a low-value guy, none of these techniques in this blog post will work. Period.

Hence, what you say must match your nonverbal communication (AKA sub-communication). If the challenges don’t look natural, women would know it quickly. As a result, if you’d like to become a high-value guy, you have to make sure the perceived challenges that you present are genuine and natural. The ideal way to use genuine challenges is to plant them naturally in conversations without playing hard to get.

After building the attraction with an elegant lady, you need to analyze the context. If you attend a wedding as a guest and you’ve met an elegant woman there, chances are she is not there alone. Actually, most high-value women are surrounded by friends, so they rarely go out alone. Moreover, women want to be a part of something; thus, they are always in groups with other ladies.

Now you may wonder how to have one-on-one conversations with the lady you like, right? The easiest way to do that is to make sure she can only see you in the dynamics, i.e. her friends can be sitting behind her or next to her, but as she is talking to you, only you appear right in front of her vision.

“If you attend the wedding with other male guests, you may ask other male guests to talk to this elegant lady’s female friends, so that you can have one-on-one conversations with her.”