If you are currently single and looking for a long-term relationship, you might want to know how to answer the unavoidable question “Why are you single?” This article will help you navigate this typical situation.
- The inevitable question at the family gathering: “Why are you single?”
Many single people dread Christmas because they can’t stand the Christmas lunch/dinner where they have to sit at the big table with all family members – someone amongst them will ask, “Why are you single?” / “Are you seeing anyone?” / “Do you want to have children?”
Now I’d like to share something that consummate politicians do: No matter what question journalists ask them, consummate politicians say whatever they want to say – they don’t have to answer the question.
You can say, “I’m still looking.” / “If you know someone suitable, you should totally introduce that person to me.” / “Why are you married?” (Say this with a playful tone.)
As long as you are not emotionally invested in the answer, it doesn’t really matter what you actually say in this context. Just don’t have an emotional reaction to the inevitable question. Remain unreactive. Do your own thing.
- The truth about self-care when you are single:
You would like to have a long-term relationship, but now you are still single. Sometimes the pressure comes from more than one direction. My friend Mark told me that his mother keeps asking him “Why are you single?” & he is really stressed out – his mother is older and lives in his apartment, so he has to deal with that unavoidable question almost every day.
My genuine advice for Mark is to prioritize self-care at all times. Although his mother is not easy-going at all, he doesn’t have to let her affect his mood. In fact, because his mother isn’t very nice, Mark spends more time in his home office: he is a writer and has many articles to write every week; he reads at least one book per month. In truth, Mark gives unconditional love to his mother and provides the care that she needs. Also, he sends his mother to the local art class so that she has somewhere fun to go several times a week & gives his mother access to really good internet at home. But his self-care is equally important. Well, because of his mother’s short temper, Mark’s productivity has improved – now he has more time for his work and his passion – he loves writing and reading. In other words, Mark has become more productive, more wealthy and more knowledgeable in spite of his mother’s uncivil attitude, because of his mother’s uncivil attitude.
Mark says when he starts a long-term relationship, his mother will stop nagging him. More importantly, no matter he finds a relationship or not, self-care is always his priority. Indeed, if he doesn’t look after himself first, he won’t have the energy/bandwidth to look after anyone else, e.g., his new partner, his mother, etc.
Mark says his mother’s difficult temper has a silver lining as his career has indeed become more successful recently. Yes, when he reads more and writes more, his income increases, and he gets more satisfaction from his work. Meanwhile, he has joined online dating sites to look for love.
“Sometimes, the silver lining is so radiant that we can’t ignore its magnificence.”
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