How to approach online dating without dating fatigue

“These days dating sometimes feels like looking for a job as internet dating is the primary way to meet other single people nowadays,” says Martin, “Frankly, I love the organic experience of meeting someone by chance as well as the unplanned magical experiences that follow. How can I be more playful and open? I want to prevent dating fatigue.”

Don’t overemphasize what each date has to mean to you.

Here is my advice for Martin: When you view each date as a scenario in which you are accepted or rejected/ win or lose, dating would feel like looking for a job. That’s why it’s time to change your mindset.

Honestly, you don’t really have to be a people person in order to do well on dates. Simply get into the healthy mindset of connecting with somebody new. Please be a flirtatious detective and have fun learning about what makes others interesting instead of making the date all about whether she likes you or not / whether this is going somewhere or not.

When you go out for a date with a woman, you would be well-advised to choose activities that you would want to make a part of your amazing life anyway, e.g., going to an art gallery, taking a short walk along the beach, seeing a new movie, etc. – something that will surely help you relax so that you will not remain in job interview mode. Online dating is supposed to be enjoyable.

What’s more, in terms of your desire for organic romantic experiences, please do remember that there is a woman out there just like you who is hoping for that as well. Currently, you merely need to make it easy for that person to meet you. I understand that you might spend a few hours on dating websites each week. However, that doesn’t mean you must see it as a job. Online dating is simply a proactive method of looking for the right person in a situation where you may not meet her serendipitously. Nonetheless, all you need to do is to take her out for a date as soon as possible so you can create organic experiences by yourself in real life quickly! Please don’t spend years chatting with someone on the Internet without meeting her in person. You have to meet her in real life reasonably fast so as to find out whether she is the right person or not in time. Why not ask her out for a coffee date?

A coffee date VS a dinner date

The first date should be a coffee date because it’s supposed to be shorter: you just need to know whether the chemistry is there or not. If the chemistry is absent, you can end the date sooner as it’s a quick coffee date. Ideally, the first date should be 30-50 minutes. Don’t make it too long! While you end the first date at its peak, both of you will look forward to the second date, which is exactly what you want!

The second date can be longer, so the second date could be a dinner date, e.g., about 2 hours. That’s how you build an emotional connection organically!