A recent study in Europe, America and Australia shows that the No. 1 mental health challenge that people face is anxiety. So, how to overcome anxiety has become a frequent topic of discussion. Research indicates that when men are looking for relationships, their anxiety level is oftentimes quite high. Therefore, I hope that you will date a woman from Eastern Europe and can actually enjoy your relationship!
- Don’t argue with intrusive thoughts.
Usually, anxiety is caused by things that you are worried about, i.e., intrusive thoughts. Please note that the more you argue with your intrusive thoughts, the louder they will become! Therefore, a much better approach is to accept them. Let me give you this analogy: You are driving a car which keeps speeding up automatically. For some reason, this car doesn’t have brakes and only has an accelerator. Consequently, the more you step on the gas pedal, the faster this car becomes. What you should do now is to stop controlling the car and just let the car run out of gas!
Please don’t take your thoughts seriously. According to Dr Sally Winston (a licensed psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders), trying to fight anxiety only makes it worse. Here is a metaphor: You are driving a car and suddenly you notice that there is some mud on the window. If you try to quickly remove the mud by wiping the window immediately, chances are the window will become dirty. But if you wait for the rain to wash the window and the sun to dry the window, the mud will disappear by itself!
- How to stop listening to other people’s opinions
A psychologist points out that due to social conditioning, women are more likely to be influenced by other people’s opinions, as evidenced by the fact that girls have been taught to be polite in order to be accepted by others. But that’s apparently not the most empowering way to approach things in life and at work. Hence, I’d like to share several ways to stop listening to other people’s opinions so that you can hear your inner voice!
- Write down your identity statement.
Every successful company has a mission statement, and you can also have an identity statement for yourself! Here is an example:
“I’m a confident, ambitious and motivated woman. I listen to my inner voice.”
Who do you want to be? Become that woman now!
- Fill your brain with good information (e.g., great books and podcasts).
Listening to your inner voice doesn’t mean you ignore other people’s useful advice. It only means you live a life true to yourself; meanwhile, you only fill your brain with helpful information and don’t allow junk to enter your brain.
Therefore, although many people would give you their opinions, it doesn’t mean every opinion is valuable.
- Know your values.
When you know your values, it’s easier for you to identify which resource gives you the right information and which resource is irrelevant.
I’d like you to read a book called Values Clarification in which you will find out exactly what you actually value!
- There are three layers of confidence:
- External confidence – This is all about how you look, how you talk, how you walk, the way you carry yourself, etc. Don’t underestimate the power of external confidence. Actually, your external confidence significantly influences your emotions: Indeed, when you are wearing your favorite outfit, you definitely feel better, right? That means your external confidence oftentimes determines how you actually feel – this is very important.
- Lifestyle confidence – This layer of confidence is about where you derive your confidence from. A woman from Eastern Europe with lifestyle confidence would derive her confidence from various areas of her life, e.g., her career, her love life, her friends, her family, her hobbies, etc. When someone derives confidence from a wide variety of areas, this person is more resilient, because if one or two areas of her life don’t work, she can derive enough confidence from other areas of her life!
- Internal confidence – This level of confidence is literally about radical self-love. Yes, I’m talking about how much you love yourself. I know this sounds a bit corny, but it’s true: A truly confident woman from Eastern Europe understands her real worth no matter what happens. She doesn’t need anyone to give her validation.
“That’s an invincible woman with core confidence.”