A good relationship takes work, but it’s totally worth it. After an affair, most couples would feel blindsided and confused by the betrayal. Fortunately, counsellors who specialize in couples’ therapy understand why affairs can happen. More importantly, they know what people can do to affair-proof their relationships in future. Interestingly, research shows that being married to an Eastern European woman can significantly lower the risk of a marriage because Eastern European ladies have traditional values – marriage is important to them – they want to stay married! Having said that, it is your responsibility to affair-proof your relationship with your lady, no matter who you choose to marry.
Don’t assume anything.
If you assume that affairs only happen to other people, you can be wrong. Truthfully, an affair could happen to any couple – it’s only a matter of the possibility. Knowing this fact will help you see the warning signs early.
It is your job to recognize and meet the needs of your marriage. Those who cheat on their spouses always say their affair partners truly fulfilled a need their spouse didn’t, no matter it’s a physical need or an emotional need. In order to protect your relationship, you must fiercely guard the solid connection which brought you two together in the first place. Meanwhile, you would be well-advised to check in regularly to make sure that things are still all right from your wife’s point of view.
Yes, you are supposed to look at how connected you feel in your marriage and how successfully you meet each other’s needs – do this often. Faithful people know the importance of emotional connection and physical connection & they make sure to meet all those needs properly. That is a skill which should be learned by everyone who wants to have a satisfying relationship.
What does monogamy mean to you?
You should talk honestly and openly about what type of behavior is not acceptable outside of the confines of your marriage. After that, you would be well-advised to set very clear boundaries that both of you agree upon. For example, sometimes you assume flirting with another woman at a dinner party is fine, but your wife may think that’s not okay. Everyone’s understanding is different, so you must make sure you and your wife are on the same page.
Also, you may discuss what desires and intimacy needs must be met in a monogamous relationship. In reality, practicing monogamy requires a lot of effort because human beings are not biologically programmed to be 100% monogamous.
What’s more, many people have affairs with their old flames these days because with social media at your fingertips, it’s very easy to chat with your old flame online. It merely takes a simple click to send a message to her, but please ask yourself, “Is it worth the pure temptation?” If you already experience challenges in your marriage, chatting with your old flame will not solve your problems.
I’m not saying you cannot stay friends with your ex. Sometimes it’s necessary to remain friends with your ex because you probably have children with your ex. Having said that, if you or your wife want to maintain friendship with an old flame, you have to do it together by going out as a group. In this way, the possibility of flirting with the ex will be reduced as you have other people around.
Do not confide in a woman who is not your wife/girlfriend.
It’s perfect okay to have close friends who can listen to your rants. Nonetheless, discussing your relationship issues with a woman you are attracted to could be the beginning of an emotional affair. Let me explain.
Everyone’s relationship has some challenges because nothing is perfect. Discussing relationship problems with a potential love interest makes her feel that you may give up your marriage and fall in love with her. This type of communication oftentimes sparks intimacy. Therefore, you should only talk to your wife about the trouble. Or you may see a counsellor or a therapist instead.
“If you’d like to meet your Eastern European lady’s needs, please show her the affection and love she need so as to feel valued.”