Safer dating: What is emotional infidelity?

Are you curious about this new concept? What’s emotional infidelity? According to an international dating expert, emotional infidelity is about chemistry, elements of secrecy, and an emotional connection that has not been acted upon… yet. This is very different from a friendship as a friendship is supportive & merely involves someone you see a few times each month, whilst emotional infidelity involves someone you see very frequently with a lot of anticipation. Anticipation, as well as secrecy, cause more infatuation as well as passion.

How common is emotional infidelity?

Social media as well as texting have made emotional affairs very common now, as it’s so easy to talk with somebody for days on the smartphone. Unlike a real relationship that involves household chores, children, in-laws, challenges, finances as well as career choices, emotional infidelity is much less stressful because you only enjoy the fun in an emotional affair. A Belgian psychotherapist argues that an emotional affair has 3 components – 1) an emotional connection; 2) secrecy; 3) an element of eroticism.

Let’s say you are married; at the same time, you find yourself texting a colleague every single day (an emotional connection) and you hide this from your wife (secrecy). The thought of kissing this colleague excites you enormously (eroticism). This is the very definition of emotional infidelity.

In order to have a safer relationship, you have to have a better understanding of emotional affairs first.

How to tell if she is having an emotional affair:

The No. 1 sign is secrecy. This means your wife starts to take her phone when she goes to the toilet, but she didn’t do this previously. Your wife has obviously changed her phone’s security settings now. Increased secrecy is the primary sign of an emotional affair.

The second sign is emotional withdrawal. When you arrive home in the evening, your wife is much less excited to see you. Also, she seems to spend much more time looking at her phone these days. That means she is withdrawing from the marriage emotionally.

The third sign is the changed libido. Clearly, a significant decrease in her libido is definitely a big sign. Nevertheless, if your wife’s libido has become higher all of a sudden, that is a sign as well. Here is why:

When your wife is cheating on you emotionally, 2 things could eventuate:

As she is aroused by a man that she doesn’t go to bed with, she needs more intimacy with you now – you are the legit spouse.

As she is having an affair emotionally, she feels a bit guilty. As a result, she wants more intimacy with you.

Understanding these key points will help you have a safer relationship.

How to tell if he is having an emotional affair:

Men are not subtle at all.

If a man likes someone, it’s very obvious. He constantly finds excuses to spend time with that lady. He texts her. He loves the banter with her.

Those are well-known behaviors that men would definitely do when they are in emotional affairs. However, I’m going to share something that might surprise you a bit:

He does not mention his wife or girlfriend at all when he talks to his secret crush. This is a very big indicator of an emotional affair.

Truthfully, it’s abnormal for a man to avoid mentioning his wife or girlfriend all the time. There is certainly a reason why he does not talk about his wife or girlfriend when he talks with his secret crush: He deeply cares about his secret crush. As a consequence, he really wants to imagine his committed relationship does not even exist. Or perhaps he does not want his committed relationship to destroy the fun that he secretly shares with his secret crush.

When she is in an emotional affair, what would she do?

Note that women are much more subtle than men, so it’s much harder to read a lady like an open book. Nonetheless, ladies also show certain indicators of emotional affairs –

She complains about her committed relationship with her secret crush. She discusses her future plans, vision, and family with her secret crush. She shares major news with her secret crush before sharing it with her husband.

That is to say, while a guy in an emotional affair enjoys the enjoyable feelings, a lady in an emotional affair is possibly in love with her secret crush.