What is the most fundamental skill in dating and relationships?

Research shows that flirting is probably the single most important skill in dating and relationships because it creates chemistry and attraction.

Flirting is mostly about your attitude.

As I see it, flirting is primarily about your attitude. It’s a decision to have fun, be playful, and start an engaging & light conversation.

Flirting consists of three components:

A man-to-woman premise – She needs to know that this is a man-to-woman interaction, so you can’t act like her best friend whom she has known for 20 years, or her counselor who gives her professional advice.

Teasing – You have to be spontaneous and playful. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

A combination of premise and teasing – You can give her a compliment which makes the conversation a man-to-woman interaction, and then you introduce teasing.

Again, in dating and relationships, your attitude is paramount. If you want to have an enjoyable romantic relationship, your attitude must be positive and upbeat because this is the foundation of your relationship. 😊

By the way, when you give her a compliment, you’d better say something that most people wouldn’t say, e.g., “Your eyeshadow is amazing because the color goes with your eye color perfectly.” (Note that other people have repeatedly said, “Your eyes are beautiful.” – That’s a bit boring!)

How to add a teasing vibe to conversations:

A recent study shows that acting cocky occasionally can add a teasing vibe to interactions between a man and a woman. Because acting cocky increases perceived challenge, it’s fun!

For example, you can say, “Oh, yes, I know everything.” Or “Let’s play a video game. I’m sure I will win the game.”

Another way to make the interaction playful is to give her a playful nickname, e.g., “Professor Penelope” and “Princess Pauline”. (Alliteration is memorable.)

Also, future adventure projection is a very cool way to make the conversation interesting. For instance, you can say this to her, “Should we send our two kids to a private school or a public school?”

In terms of effective flirting, your attitude as well as the delivery are much more important than what you actually say. You have to be comfortable with the flirtatious vibe in the first place. If you are nervous, your energy will make your lady uncomfortable, too.