In fairy tales as old as time, the princess rides off into the sunset with her prince, and they live happily every after. If you’ve ever been in any kind of a relationship, you know full well that real-life love doesn’t work this way. Your wedding day is just the beginning of a beautiful, sometimes messy, sometimes difficult life partnership. You’ll certainly have your share of “happily ever after,” but you have to work for it. A marriage is a flower that needs tending to. It needs love and trust to grow bold, strong, and beautiful. So let’s talk about how to build trust in a marriage. Think about the following ways in which you can establish a strong, trusting bond within your marriage, and try to implement these into your life each day.
This is a simple one: Stay true to your spouse. It’s easier said than done, of course, since according to recent data, 20 percent of married men and 13 percent of married women admit to cheating on their spouse.
Infidelity in any form can be detrimental to a marriage. Though some couples stay together after a spouses affair, many marriages affected by infidelity end in divorce. It’s difficult to rebuild trust and stave off negative emotions after a spouse engages in an extramarital relationship.
What To Do:
Talk with your spouse about what constitutes cheating. In the age of ever-changing relationships and emotional intelligence, infidelity isn’t just about extramarital sex.
If you flirt with someone you’re attracted to, or if you establish an emotional bond with someone other than your spouse, that can be considered emotional cheating. Your spouse may feel slighted and disrespected — even humiliated by emotional infidelity. So once you’ve established what cheating means in your relationship, respect each other’s boundaries and stay true to your spouse.
Choose Your Spouse Every Day
This second piece of advice may seem vague, but it’s a key factor of how to build trust in a marriage. Choosing your spouse every day means making the choice to love the person you married no matter how you might feel about them at any given moment.
Let’s face it: Married life isn’t perfect. Your spouse may annoy you, for instance. You may experience times when you’re less attracted to him or her than you were during the honeymoon.
This is ok as long as you remember to choose your spouse every day, despite any difficulties. You can weather all the peaks and valleys of your marriage as long as your commitment to your partner stays consistent. If you allow yourself to think that someone else might be better for you, or you’d rather live a different kind of life, it will become more difficult to stay faithful to your marriage as time passes.
Of course, in situations of abuse or a toxic relationship, you have to reevaluate your priorities. Domestic violence is never acceptable. If you find yourself in an abusive situation, seek help immediately. However, in a healthy marriage, by choosing your partner everyday, you demonstrate your respect and trust in the marriage. This will help strengthen the bond that you share.
Check In With Each Other
Communication is another key factor in how to build trust in a marriage. Talking frequently with your spouse, not just about everyday logistics but about your feelings too, can create implicit trust and strengthen your bond.
An implied notion of old-fashioned love was that you can’t be best friends with your spouse. This is far from the truth. In fact, you can and you should consider your spouse a best friend–it’s the person you’re spending your life with, after all. Not sharing your feelings or checking in with your spouse to consider their feelings erodes your chances at a so-called fairy tale ending.
Stick To Your Word
taying faithful to your partner isn’t the only promise you have to keep in a marriage. Committing to any promise in general reinforces your spouse’s trust in you.
Even the little things count. For instance: If you say you’ll be home at 6 o’clock for dinner, make an effort to stick to that timeframe. If you don’t show up on time once in a while due to circumstances out of your control (I.E.: traffic, an accident, etc.), that’s understandable. However, if you regularly make little promises to your spouse only to break them, you’re creating a habit of distrust.
Why should your spouse believe you when you say you’ll do something if you regularly break your promises? Consistency with keeping your word is a careful bridge to lasting trust.
Overall, making your marriage a priority in your life and respecting your spouse is a good indicator of how to build trust in a marriage. When you recognize the importance of trust in marriage, your life with your spouse will flourish.
For more tips on how to have a successful, loving relationship, please feel free to visit Safer Dating.