“After dating a woman for a few weeks, she told me that I deserve better,” says Ian, “That has already happened twice. Why did they tell me that I’m too good for them?”
“Truthfully, when a woman says ‘You deserve better’, it’s just her way of ending the relationship while making you feel that you should look after her feelings – that’s a very subtle way to say she is not good enough for you, so that now you want to tell her that she is good enough – your nurturing side has come out.” I explain, “Next time when someone says ‘You deserve better’ or ‘You are too good for me’, you should simply walk away and move on because she is certainly right.”
- How to not be hurt in online dating:
Always pay attention to signs which tell you that she isn’t investing on the same level as you. For example, if you text her every day but she only responds to your messages once a week, that means she isn’t investing in this relationship.
Of course, different people have different communication preferences. For instance, I prefer emails and direct messages on Instagram, whereas a friend of mine prefers interacting with people on Instagram posts by writing comments in public. That means our communication preferences are very different, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t good friends. I’m pretty sure when we see each other again in person, we will have a really great time! Actually, we don’t see each other often because I’m busy with writing every single day; however, when we do see each other, we talk about deep and meaningful topics that inspire both of us. In other words, a high-quality friendship isn’t determined by how much time two people spend together; it’s determined by the quality of the connection. Similarly, in a romantic relationship, you have to prioritize the quality of each date instead of the quantity of dates (I know the frequency of dates matters to some degree, yet the quality of each date is still the most important element in the dynamics.)
Speaking of Ian’s concern, ‘You deserve better’ is actually a statement of guilt as she knows that she wouldn’t invest at the same level as Ian and that’s her way of letting Ian know that. My advice for Ian (and anyone in that situation) is to be aware of people that aren’t investing in you & protect yourself by leaving the wrong people quickly, thereby finding the right relationship via online dating sooner.
- How to end a romantic relationship gracefully:
Every marriage ends via divorce or death. If you are thinking of ending a relationship, that’s normal and understandable because some relationships are wrong and this relationship can be one of them. Love has a life as well and it can die. People generally like talking about how to find a relationship and how to keep a relationship. Nevertheless, most people never talk about how to end a romantic relationship. In truth, the ending of a romantic relationship is an essential topic too, for it’s sometimes necessary and unavoidable. Remember: if a romantic relationship ends, it doesn’t necessarily mean this relationship has definitely failed. As a matter of fact, probably each relationship has added some value to your life – a romantic relationship can help you grow, teach you things and provide you with a new direction in your life, though the relationship itself has already ended. As a result, if a relationship doesn’t work out, don’t drown yourself in an ocean of sadness; you should focus on what you have carefully learned from this relationship that will become history.
As I see it, when you make learning a priority, you are literally creating a positive and powerful mindset which will definitely help you in this difficult situation. Hence, you won’t become a victim who needs to take revenge. Clearly, the silver lining is paramount – focusing on growth is the foundation for ending a romantic relationship in the right way.
If you are completely sure that this relationship must end because it’s totally hopeless, be sure to remember that you’re the most important individual in the world. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you are going to be a selfish guy. I mean when you realistically put yourself first, you will never allow resentment to grow under the radar. Thus, you would be well-advised to take care of your interest first & seek professional legal advice when necessary.
By the way, please be pleasant and fair to your partner because this is not easy for her either. If you really have to end this relationship, you must have a candid conversation with her. I know a candid conversation is a hard conversation in this situation. Nonetheless, this candid conversation must happen, for both of you deserve care, clarity and candor.
It turns out that sometimes the best decisions are the least comfortable decisions in life. Yet so long as you have made this big decision based on your core values like generosity, self-care and humanity, you’ll certainly be able to leave your relationship with kindness and dignity.
Don’t forget that you can always leverage online dating to find love again!
“Please be gracious while dealing with challenging things in life. Remember that online dating is an effective way to find a new relationship.”
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