A guy recently wrote to me, “I would like to go all-in. But how do I invest in a romantic relationship without feeling empty after it is gone?” In order to share safer dating advice with you, he has given me the permission to share my answer in detail on this blog today.

  • Investing in a relationship is nota way of pouring out of your cup and into somebody else’s cup.

You should never feel empty because a romantic relationship has to fill your cup while your cup is overflowing and giving to your partner at the same time. In other words, I don’t see investing in a relationship as a zero-sum game.

Sharing passion, being vulnerable and giving emotions are amazing ways to invest in a long-term relationship because these are invigorating – they make you full spiritually and they are a part of a rich and rewarding life.

According to safer dating experts, when you are self-actualized, you give what you have and live up to your potential. What’s more, giving your all and giving everything are not the same. In my opinion, giving your all is sharing what you have without ruining your life, without being self-destructive; giving everything means losing everything. These are two totally different concepts.

Frankly, even if you have a broken heart because of an ex, you have to leave that romantic relationship liking yourself even more, not less. After the breakup, you start to see who you are able to become when you focus on yourself and show how much real love you are able to give to other people around you.

safer dating

  • Why do you feel empty?

If you get heart-broken and feel empty, it is probably because you have lost yourself in a relationship – you stopped looking after yourself.

Safer dating experts argue that you have to fill your own cup first at all times. If you give everything and feel empty after a breakup, that’s surely a big lesson that you have to learn. It’s time to discover who you really are once again and be much stronger for next time. You will meet the right person who makes you happy and satisfied.

You can fully invest in a serious relationship without feeling empty. You are not empty at all. In fact, you are a blank page ready for a new story to be written. When you have this positive mindset, you will find true love faster.  I believe in you.

“Safer dating experts state that dating can’t be a one-way street.”