Long-distance relationships are hard, but they can work when they are handled correctly. Yesterday I received a message from a gentleman who is in a long-distance relationship that doesn’t make him happy. He writes, “I’m 41 years old. I’m currently dating a woman who lives far away from me. We see each other once a week or once a fortnight. Usually, I drive to her town to see her. It takes me a few hours to drive there. But I can’t feel her love. What should I do?”
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My answer to his question:
Life is short. You probably have another 40, 50 or 60 years to live. Are you sure you want to spend another 40, 50 or 60 years feeling unloved? Or would you rather find someone who loves you genuinely?
The reason she is hanging around is because you are hanging around. She is treating you like this because you allow her to treat you like this. She can only get away with whatever you allow her to get away with.
Right now, your needs are not met because you are wasting your extremely precious time with someone who doesn’t care about you. If she actually loves you, she wouldn’t do that to you. When a woman loves a man, she definitely wants to protect his heart 100%.
When someone is truly in love, they go all in. Period.
Currently, there is a woman out there who you don’t know about, who is better for you, who deserves you, who you totally deserve. Yet you are clearly depriving this woman as well as yourself valuable time in that high-quality relationship by not ending your current relationship with someone who obviously doesn’t love you. Indeed, you are depriving yourself now.
Please choose your own path for your romantic relationship (either be bold and strong & leave a woman who doesn’t meet your needs, or you will surely have to live with the ultimate regret of not leaving her sooner.)
Remember: The best action you can take is to find a woman who really deserves & is worthy of your very precious time and energy, and be confident enough to call her out when something isn’t working. Note that time is so limited as life is so short (too short to waste time with someone who is not even sure about you)!
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How to make a long-distance relationship work for you and your girlfriend:
If two people are madly in love, they will find a way to make their relationship work, no matter it’s a long-distance relationship or not. A good relationship is able to stand the test of time and distance. Hence, please don’t give it up due to the long distance/age gap/cultural difference / etc.
Design a shared vision in your relationship and look forward to this blueprint that makes you energized and passionate every single day.
You deserve true love.
“Do you have a romantic relationship that makes you very happy?”
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