In English-speaking countries, as long as you and your ex-wife are separated, you are allowed to date other women, although you haven’t signed the divorce paper yet. I know a woman who has been separated from her ex-husband for decades. Technically, they aren’t divorced because her ex-husband refuses to sign the divorce paper, but in reality, they haven’t spoken to each other for 20 years! Actually, this lady moved on a long time ago and her ex-husband already had a new baby with another woman recently. Both of them are from Canada. However, in some cultures, people aren’t allowed to date others if they aren’t technically divorced because not every country has the concept of “separated” – in some cultures, people are either single, married, divorced or widowed as “separated” isn’t a marital status in some countries. So, if you are separated but the lady that you are chatting with on an online dating website is single, and she is from a very different culture, you might need to figure out how to explain yourself to her!

  • Whenever there is a potential conflict, please always manage feelings and emotions before talking about facts and solutions.

Let’s say you are separated whereas the lady that you are chatting with online is single. She doesn’t know that in a western country people that are separated are allowed to date others, even though they aren’t technically divorced, because she is from an eastern culture.

Now you might be concerned: What if she feels annoyed simply because of the cultural difference?

I highly recommend you to visit the lady that you’ve met via the online dating website in person as soon as possible if you are in this situation because in a scenario like this, you need to speak to her in person so that the face-to-face conversation will make everything easier to understand. Obviously, you don’t want a major misunderstanding to ruin a beautiful relationship that will make you very happy in the future.

Okay. Now you are meeting her for the first date in a coffee shop. Please start the date with hot drinks which will make both of you relax, for research shows that hot drinks help people feel cozy. No matter it’s a coffee, a hot chocolate or a cup of tea, be sure to make the experience enjoyable!

Ideally, the ambience, the lighting and the background music in this coffee shop should be very elegant and romantic. Now you flirt with your lady by adding a playful vibe to the interaction. When your eyes meet hers, you give her a compliment, “Your eyeshadow looks so dreamy.” 

Please note that most men don’t pay attention to women’s makeup. As a result, by commenting on a woman’s makeup, you make her feel closer to you psychologically – women spend a lot of time doing makeup, but they rarely feel understood by men in this regard!

  • How to talk about facts and solutions:

Since her mood is upbeat, you can begin to talk about facts and solutions. Now this is the second step of this process: explaining your situation to her cleanly and clearly.

You need to tell this lady that in the western culture, people who are separated are allowed to date others because that’s the law in western countries – a relationship is only real when the couple are actually together; if they aren’t together anymore, it’s not a real relationship, although their marriage certificate is still legally valid. People who aren’t in relationships are allowed to go out for dates. That’s why you’ve joined an online dating site in order to meet a high-value lady like her!

Honestly, because you were married before, your perceived value is higher than single men who have never been married: Another woman chose you previously. That means you are normal. You are a high-value man.

“Online dating is here to stay because it’s the main way for single people to find dates these days.”