You go to the gym in order to improve your health and fitness. More importantly, you are looking to lose some weight and build more muscles. But when you ask a personal trainer for professional advice, your personal trainer says, “Just be yourself.” You would probably be shocked, wouldn’t you? – Because you go to the gym so as to achieve your goals and you need a specific & practical plan to make that happen. If the plan is to just be yourself, you obviously wouldn’t need a personal trainer in the first place. That’s why “being yourself” isn’t enough in this context. How about in an international relationship? Can you just be yourself?
- When does “just be yourself” actually work?
In some scenarios, being yourself is totally fine because it works pretty well. For example, you are lying on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate while watching your favorite TV show because you need some R & R after working so hard for a week. In this case, you should totally be yourself because you deserve a relaxing weekend!
A particular time I would totally be myself is listening to the heavy rain outside the window while lying in bed comfortably and knowing that I’m completely safe as I’m protected by the house as well as the cozy blankets.
In Denmark, people love the concept of ‘hygge’, i.e., coziness or feeling safe, comfortable and warm. In fact, I think this is a very important concept that everyone has to master if improving wellbeing is important to us all.
Of course, hygge is more than a lifestyle; it’s also an attitude and a way to approach things. From my point of view, hygge isn’t just about wearing jewelry that is made of wood and enjoying a cup of tea. Actually, hygge is also how I give stuff better associations, e.g., I bought myself a new phone after finishing writing an online course for a VIP client. Now my new phone is much more meaningful because it represents completing a very important project of this year. Whenever I look at my new phone, I feel a sense of accomplishment immediately.
- When “being yourself” isn’t enough….
We must be more fluid. Flexibility is so key in most situations in life and at work. For instance, people who work in retail and customer service need to know how to talk to different customers differently as every customer is unique. Likewise, different stages in your international relationship requires you to be flexible as well.
Before going out for the first date, you should study dating skills and work on your grooming & fashion. When you are on the first date, you’d better just be yourself because that’s how you relax and feel less nervous. If you have already prepared for the date well, you’ve certainly internalized the dating techniques and conversation skills, so now you can just be yourself and be calm.
Every morning when you wake up, you would be well-advised to ask yourself, “How can I better myself today?” Self-improvement is supposed to be happening on a daily basis. If you do something to improve yourself each day, you will surely become the best version of yourself!
My friend Mathew has decided to do something to improve his international relationship every single day. Here is what he has been doing this week:
Monday: Write a romantic poem for his girlfriend.
Tuesday: Say “I love you” to his girlfriend while giving her a perfect hug.
Wednesday: Order Greek dessert via Uber Eats to surprise his girlfriend after dinner.
Thursday: Buy The Year of Living Danishly (a book written by Helen Russell) for his girlfriend.
Friday: Have a date night in a Thai restaurant.
Saturday: Go to the movies with his girlfriend.
Sunday: Watch DVDs at home with his girlfriend.
Maybe you think writing a romantic poem is not easy, but because Mathew is very artistically expressive, he can do that really well. As he does something to make his international relationship better every day, his love life is absolutely amazing. He definitely focuses on personal development, thereby becoming the best version of himself.
“Your international relationship will be even better if you prioritize self-improvement because love calls on you to be not just yourself, but your best self.”
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