Each time you fall in love with a woman, you have the potential to become an idealist because love is blind. Truthfully, if you have positive illusions about each other in your relationship, that’s actually a good thing! And it’s normal to see a golden halo around her head when you are madly in love with her! But can this also be bad for you? Now I’m going to analyze romantic blindness from a dating safety’s perspective.
Positive illusions could be bad for your relationship.
If she tells you something negative about herself, please believe her!
I know you tend to brush it off if you are in love with a woman, but that’s very dangerous. You’d better see it as a warning of certain treatment yet to come.
Let’s say a woman says this to you, “I can be very cold and I don’t really care that much.” Now you shouldn’t ignore this red flag.
No, she is not putting up a defensive-barrier. In fact, she is probably telling you the truth. So, you should respond, “Why would you behave that way?” or “I’m not okay with that.”
When you respect yourself and your own standards, love is not blind. You won’t feel worthy if you lack self-esteem. A low-value person would feel very lucky just to have some female attention and would not feel that they can challenge someone else’s belief system or express a different viewpoint. A low-value guy doubts himself and is unwilling to express unhappiness with what a woman says to him. His low self-esteem is what makes him date someone who treats him badly. He still thinks, “Her bad behavior is temporary. Things will be okay in future.”
In other words, you must have self-respect before women respect you!
Also, self-awareness is very important. Self-awareness is knowing who you really are, what your core values are and what you actually need in love and in life. I would argue that even bad relationships have taught you many things about what you need because a bad relationship teaches you what you certainly want and what you certainly do not want.
Basically, self-awareness is understanding your needs & self-esteem is loving yourself enough to demand what you need.
Grow your self-awareness and self-esteem.
Even if you are a confident guy, you still need to keep growing. You can always get more clarity in terms of your self-awareness and self-respect.
Firstly, be a contributor. You should value contribution whenever you interact with people. Being of service to other people is very important. Be generous.
Secondly, value excellence. An elegant lady from Ukraine would date an excellent guy who values self-improvement. So, you should build a high-value social circle that can make you a better man.
Thirdly, be frugal. That means you are not supposed to give away your money, energy, time or mental resources too freely because you should focus on what’s important to you. Note that most women from Ukraine also value frugality.
Next, have unrelenting curiosity and passion. An avid reader stays curious because he/she takes his/her education seriously. Be passionate about learning!
Have a bright future & make today a great day!
If you are in a relationship with a Ukrainian lady, you should find a way to prioritize daily happiness so that you can have a sustainable relationship in the long term.
So, what’s your standards for daily joy and happiness? (I’d like to show you my criteria below).
- I need to do meaningful work that I’m passionate
- I need to surround myself with people that I adore and admire.
- I need to look after my health by getting enough sleep, eating healthy food and doing exercise.
- I need to learn something by listening to a podcast or reading a good book.
- I need to manage my life by checking my email Inbox, cooking at home and doing laundry.
Why a nice woman may not be the right candidate?
Being nice is different from being kind.
Sometimes nice and selfish go hand in hand, unfortunately.
Just because she is nice to be around does not necessarily mean she is a great person. A nice woman might want to be nice because she wants to be perceived as a good woman, even though she has very little to offer.
Also, being nice does not necessarily mean she is mature. Sadly, it sometimes means she does not want to face challenges and conflicts in life. If she avoids difficult conversations, that’s actually a red flag rather than a positive trait.
What’s more, being nice does not necessarily mean she is actually a teammate. Usually, a nice woman is diplomatic so that she doesn’t need to take anybody’s side (she wants to be nice to everyone in every situation).
Dating safety: How to identify a self-sabotaging woman
Because this website is about dating safety, I’d like to share with you some ways to identify self-sabotaging women. You are welcome!
The first sign is she wants to isolate you and pull you away from your friends. She doesn’t understand that a high-value guy needs to enjoy other areas of his life apart from his relationship.
The second sign is she gives you less affection when you become successful. This can be something like controlling behavior that tries to manipulate you when you achieve success – she may say, “Oh, you’ve got a promotion at work? That means you are driven by money.” In other words, if she hates your success, she is a self-sabotaging woman who feels threatened by your achievement.
The third sign is she wants to be placed before your family at all times. Let’s say you want to spend the weekend with your parents and siblings & suddenly she becomes upset. Sooner or later, your family will know that she is very insecure and resents your family.
The fourth sign is she does not allow you to have female friends. That only means she finds other women threatening, so she doesn’t have confidence. If you keep dating this self-sabotaging woman, you will lose female friends who might bring you great career opportunities (I know a guy like that already).
The fifth sign is she expects you to fix her terrible moods. Look, you are not a babysitter. Therefore, it’s not your job to fix her bad moods. Anyone who expects you to cure their bad moods is not mature enough to be with you.
The final sign is she sacrifices her blueprint in order to be intertwined with your life. This happens more frequently than you might think because some women literally give up their dreams so as to feel further intertwined with their men’s lives.
In conclusion, you have to avoid self-sabotaging women in dating and relationships!
“In order to build a healthy and happy relationship, you need to choose a mature and confident woman in the first place.”