Have you ever felt like you don’t belong somewhere or feel like it’s just a matter of time before somebody realizes that they have made a mistake to spend more time with you? You are a smart and capable guy, but you sit at the dinner table and wonder why this Ukrainian lady has chosen you because you don’t really feel worthy of her attention. Other people compliment you for your intelligence and accomplishments, but you simply say, “I’ve done nothing special” or “It’s only luck”. If you feel like that, you possibly have imposter syndrome.
- Why do some people have imposter syndrome?
Almost everybody has imposter syndrome at some point in their life. Research shows that at least 80% of people have imposter syndrome at times – anybody may wrestle with the imposter feelings if they never totally internalize their success, although they are objectively successful.
A major study suggests that imposter syndrome often visits individuals who should suffer from this issue the least: Usually, very hardworking people have imposter syndrome – as they appreciate the significance of abilities and hard work, they are more likely to question if they have enough of them to succeed.
High achievers suffer from imposter experiences because they set and then achieve ambitious goals. As a consequence, when they reach the new level of success, they tend to question whether their skills match their new responsibilities.
If you are reading this blog and wonder you may have imposter syndrome as well, you are definitely not alone.
- How to feel good enough:
If you would like to overcome imposter syndrome, the first step that you should take is to understand what it is, what causes this pattern and who suffers from imposter syndrome. I’m sure you’ve got the gist after reading Section 1 of this blog post. Awareness can help you alleviate this pattern to some extent, so this is a good start. 😊
Step 2 is to understand who doesn’t have imposter syndrome. Interestingly, a study shows that narcissists, energy vampires and psychopaths don’t experience imposter syndrome because they can’t relate to others’ feelings and they are certainly different to other people’s viewpoints. ☹
In contrast, you deeply care about how others feel and their views, so others’ opinions about you is a key source of evaluation. That’s why you have imposter syndrome, which isn’t surprising. 😉
Step 3 is to practice telling yourself a new story – you are actually good enough!
I’m sure this practice will make you understand and remember your true value. Here is how to reinforce your new pattern: In your journal, please write down your big wins in life as well as compliments that trustworthy people have given you. Now you have solid evidence that tells you something important – you are already good enough.
Read this journal entry often so that you will fully internalize your success and achievements. You deserve all your accomplishments.
Step 4 is to focus on offering value. Rather than thinking of how others perceive you, you should totally focus on helping other people genuinely. Indeed, when you give more, you wouldn’t overthink every situation.
“Next time when you meet a Ukrainian lady or attend a very important meeting, remember that you are there simply because you deserve success.”