How to have a confident mindset in the modern online dating world

In 2024, a study shows that the most dangerous element in dating and relationships is a scarcity mindset, i.e., if you are too hungry for affection and love & are willing/happy to accept bad behavior…. In other words, when you have a scarcity mindset, the biggest red flag is actually yourself. Therefore, you have to be more confident. In this way, you are able to set and keep your boundaries in online dating.

Think on a long timeline.

When you put up with someone’s bad behavior, you are literally thinking on a very short timeline. That’s why you try to avoid friction in a new relationship.

Now I’d like you to zoom out so that you can look at this over a very long timeline, e.g., a 50-year timeline. When you do that, you would make totally different decisions about what to do, what to say, what to ignore now and what to pay attention to today.

Instead of rushing into a romantic relationship so as to win the so-called relationship race, you would be well-advised to focus on becoming a switched-on relationship picker, as this will surely have a bigger impact on your overall happiness in the long term.

Although avoiding friction right now might make it a bit easier to get into a romantic relationship immediately, it will certainly increase the possibility of resentment in the future.

The short game isn’t ideal. In dating and relationships, getting ahead is definitely a false economy if it causes terrible decisions that might ruin our life (like putting up with bad behavior now). By the way, if you are older and you don’t think you have a lot of time for a long timeline, please note that one year in a toxic relationship feels like at least one lifetime. Hence, you still need to make good decisions.

Too much pressure breaks a new relationship.

When you have a scarcity mindset, you tend to put too much pressure on a new romantic relationship. For example, Kyle is in his late 50s and he is afraid he won’t find anyone. Consequently, whenever he finds a woman with potential via online dating, he falls in love with her too fast while putting too many expectations on her, though he doesn’t know her very well yet. Sadly, when he falls for a woman too quickly, he puts too much pressure on a new romantic relationship to the point that it doesn’t feel organic or natural anymore. When she feels something isn’t organic, she might begin to freak out because women’s intuition is very strong and accurate – she doesn’t feel special as she can tell that he is simply after any romantic relationship.

So, I highly encourage you to pay attention to the actual relationship instead of the idea of a romantic relationship. This is exactly how to be practical and find true love from the online dating world.