Internal foundations of your confidence in the international dating space

A recent survey indicates that the most common question in the self-help world is “How to be more confident”, but research shows that there aren’t enough books that offer practical and transformational advice. Therefore, I’d like to write an article about this topic today for people who are in the modern international dating space.

Stop playing the attention game.

Looking for love isn’t about getting all the attention from everyone in the room at a party. If you are looking for a partner, you shouldn’t play the attention game by competing with other men in this regard whenever you go to a social event. Remember that you don’t have to be the most popular man shaking every hand.

If you attend a party, you could be patient and meet several people organically, thereby having some meaningful conversations without needing to get the entire room’s attention. Note that real confidence is not needing everybody’s attention because the right person that you would like a serious relationship with wouldn’t think, “Is he the Mr. Charisma here?” because she truly loves you for you. The type of woman you want a good relationship with will ask herself, “Is he the guy I can see myself with in the long run?”

I think this is rooted in inner confidence ultimately. Remember that if you don’t build the internal foundations of your core confidence, you’ll probably make unhelpful decisions no matter how much insightful advice you receive about what to say and what to do in the international dating world. Hence, please focus on building the internal foundations of confidence first.

Don’t overvalue the surface-level show while looking for real love.

Any woman could give you a compliment. That’s easy to do. However, consistent communication, authentic conversations, real action and a woman showing you that she is genuinely interested and really invested – this is special.

Thus, you have to stop overvaluing the surface-level show and begin to value patterns in a woman’s behavior day after day. When you go out for dates with someone, you’d better have authentic conversations with her showing you are quite curious about what she is looking for in dating: “What are you drawn toward in your dating life right now?” “What are you looking for in life now?” “Does the idea of a marriage excite you?” (At the beginning, what you need is curiosity. Frankly, the No. 1 undervalued and understated way of moving from one mindset to another mindset is curiosity because curiosity opens the door to other experiences than the ones that you had previously.) Curiosity is very powerful because it doesn’t force you to strongly believe in something new right now that might be impossible for you to believe due to your previous experiences in life. What’s more, curiosity gives you the permission to ask more questions about life, so you take small steps and wonder what else is also possible in your life.