How to prepare a good conversation piece for international dating

Our research shows that the No. 1 challenge that men face in the dating space is to keep the conversation going. It seems that men find it quite difficult to make conversations interesting and engaging when they are on dates. Therefore, I’d like to share with you my biggest secret regarding conversation skills: amazing conversation is usually simply amazing storytelling.

Why you should practice telling a story:

I’d like you to practice telling a story. This story can be something from the past or something recent. The story doesn’t have to be long. It can be a story that you would tell at the dinner table, on a date or in a speech. Please remember that the best way to become great at telling stories is telling them repeatedly. For example, you tell your parents this story at the dinner table; you tell your co-worker this story in the office; you tell a friend this story on the phone….

When you go out for a date with a woman, you can tell her this story. I would argue that a wonderful conversation piece is pretty much like a wonderful piece of jewelry – you can bring it out whenever you are eager to impress someone.

Note that you should practice this story with family, friends, neighbors, etc. However, please don’t tell them that you are practicing this story on them! The real practice is in the doing. Sometimes I practice telling a story in front of a mirror for multiple times while preparing for a speech.

According to my experience, the most effective way to refine a story is looking for the stakes and the drama in the story because this is what makes the story fascinating. I work on the unusual little details, the emotive elements, the unexpected twists & turns, the eye-opening ending, and so on. In terms of the language I use, I even prepare figures of speech and other linguistic techniques such as alliteration, rhyme, parallel structures, metaphors, personification, and so on.

What does a great story do to help you with international dating?

When it comes to international dating, you can use storytelling to communicate your standards and boundaries tactfully. For example, Josh’s story includes, “It’s very important to remain faithful in a relationship, so my best friend Harold left his ex-girlfriend who was cheating on him, and I’m glad that he made this decision in time. Leaving her is a good thing.”

Indeed, you can tell a story which implies your values, standards, expectations and boundaries in dating and relationships. This is a way to indirectly tell the person you are dating who you are and what’s important to you.

By the way, Josh actually added “right?” to “leaving her is a good thing” – that was his way to check that woman’s response, i.e., whether they are on the same page. Josh encouraged that woman to express herself while he was telling the story. In other words, the date’s participation is also valuable during storytelling.