Uncomfortable conversations might feel terrifying in a relationship. However, they are really important because without difficult conversations, you either keep your partner in the dark or become even more resentful and frustrated. Today’s insight into safe dating is about how to deal with confrontation tactfully and confidently. 

  • Give your partner a chance to fully understand where you are coming from. 

Honest communication is key because when you tell your partner what you find difficult about the relationship currently, you are not playing mind games with your partner. Note that playing games usually makes the situation even worse as it makes things more complicated and less transparent. 

Please do not look at confrontation in terms of your partner’s reaction. What really matters is you clearly and cleanly communicate how you actually feel as well as what your real needs are right now without blaming anyone. 

Do not use labels such as “narcissist”. Avoid pointing fingers during the difficult conversation. Remember that using labels and pointing fingers will only make the problem worse because that behavior adds negative emotions to the situation. In other words, I highly encourage you to focus on facts objectively – simply state how you feel in a calm and peaceful way without becoming emotional. 

What’s more, please don’t take your partner’s initial reaction as her final word on this matter. Indeed, she might have an initial reaction and return a few days later with a better response when she has a clearer head. Hence, you have to give her enough space and time, thereby showing more of yourself and making this relationship better. 

  • The ultimate insight into safe dating: how she deals with challenges is up to her.

Frankly, knowing/fully understanding that your partner’s reaction is actually outside of your control literally reduces the stakes for you, as you can start the difficult conversation without the need to control every aspect of it. Now you have the internal freedom. Isn’t this liberating? By the way, if there is a particular pattern where you can never bring things up without her overreacting, that indicates her immaturity. In this case, you would be well-advised to hire a relationship coach who will give you more safe dating advice. 

“Difficult conversations shouldn’t be avoided in relationships. Please approach them intelligently and tactfully.”