The primary reason why some couples can stay happily married is because they share the same values. According to an international relationship expert, understanding values is so key when it comes to dating and relationships.
Advice for Eastern European women married to western men:
Although you may first become aware of cultural differences in your physical environment, e.g. food, dress, behavior, you may also come to notice that people from other cultures may have very different views of the world from yours. Cultures are built on values and beliefs. It can be surprising and sometimes upsetting to find that people do not share some of your most deeply held ideas. When you understand both cultures, you will probably find some aspects of each that you like and others that you don’t.
A model of culture shock: The process of culture shock can be illustrated by a model. This model may only partly not relate to your experience. Sometimes the process is faster or slower. Many people go through different phases of the process several times, so parts may repeat themselves. For instance, at times such as important family dates or festivals you may feel distressed or lonely, while at other times you feel quite settled. However, many people have reported that this model has reflected something of their experience and they have found it helpful to realize they are not the only ones to have had these feelings. The process can be broken down into 5 stages: 1) The “honeymoon” stage: When you first arrive in a new culture, differences are interesting and you may feel excited and curious. At this stage you are still protected by the close memory of your home culture. 2) The “distress” stage: A little later, differences affect you and you may feel confused or alone when cultural differences affect you and family or friends are not available. 3) “Re-integration” stage: Next you may reject the differences. You may feel angry or frustrated, or hostile to the new culture. At this stage you may think about how much you dislike it compared to home. Don’t worry, this is quite normal. You are thinking about what you value about yourself and your own culture. 4) “Autonomy” stage: You will accept differences and similarities. You may feel relaxed, confident when you become more familiar with situations and feel able to cope with new situations based on your growing experience. 5) “Independence” stage: Finally, you will see differences and similarities as important. You may trust yourself in all kinds of situations. Most situations become enjoyable and you can make choices according to your preferences and values.
International marriages: Why do many women choose not to work outside the home?
In recent years, it has been observed that in those societies where women work outside their homes in the company of men, there exist many serious problems. Many studies have been conducted worldwide concerning the advantages and disadvantages of having women working outside their homes. The basis for each study was the following question: Is it helpful or harmful to women and to their society to have women work outside their homes?
Some people consider that the work of a woman outside the home gives her equal rights
with men, social independence, and financial freedom. Perhaps each of these results seems to be true on the surface, but this point of view is actually very narrow and superficial. It certainly does not take into consideration the serious social problems which are a direct result of women in the work fields who constantly compete with, come in contact with, and keep company with men. Consider just the religious view: all the heavenly books are quite clear about woman’s place in the world. The Bible and the Koran particularly state that women should stay at home and do the housework.
The basic fact is that women are not like men; both are different naturally in physical stature and emotional capabilities. God provided each with certain talents and features which help him or her in life. For example, there are certain jobs which are suitable for each gender simply because of physical abilities and limitations. Men can do work which needs great physical strength and endurance: bricklaying, working with heavy machinery, or other kinds of construction work. For women, these jobs are impossible because of their limited physical strength. On the other hand, there are some jobs which are suitable for women: nursing, raising children, and housework. Women can do these jobs more efficiently because they are naturally fit for such work; they have patience and emotional endurance to do small tasks again and again without getting bored. Emotionally, men are better equipped to make strong decisions about serious and critical problems that arise from making serious decisions. Women, on the contrary, are much better suited for the patience and kindness involved in raising children, and the children develop better as a result of the mother’s kindness and understanding.
“Many Eastern European women choose to keep their jobs after getting married. But some ladies prefer being housewives. Which option is better?”