The truth about forgiveness in relationships & safe dating

  • Conflict is an opportunity for you to grow in a relationship.

Without conflict, a relationship becomes stagnant – nothing changes. In truth, Change is the only constant in life. In a relationship, you will only know whether you two are compatible or not when you experience conflict. If you two have compatible approaches to conflict, it’s a very healthy relationship! Usually, after you’ve successfully managed conflict in a relationship, you become closer to your partner because you two are growing together. As I see it, forgiveness is about hiding the unpleasant experience in a corner of the room. It’s still unpleasant. Only when you have nobody to forgive can you experience true growth – you’ve become a more enlightened person because of your partner, so there is no one to forgive.

  • Forgiving someone VS letting it go

If someone actually wronged you or treated you very badly, you don’t have an obligation to forgive them – they should forgive themselves. Truthfully, there is a difference between forgiving someone and letting it go. Never underestimate the power of letting things go. When you don’t have anyone to hate, life is liberating!

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  • Common causes of breakup in a multicultural relationship:

Maintaining a relationship isn’t easy. This can become more complicated in a multicultural relationship. Here are the most common causes of breakup in a multicultural relationship:

Cause 1: ineffective communication

People from different cultural backgrounds often have different communication styles. For example, the western culture is a reader-dependent culture, i.e., everything you say should be crystal clear so that the listener can fully understand what you mean easily. In contrast, the eastern culture is a writer-dependent culture, i.e., the listener is supposed to proactively ask for further clarification without passively waiting for the speaker to explain everything in detail. Consequently, when two people are from two very different cultures, their communication might be ineffective. Therefore, individuals would be well-advised to understand the difference in their communication styles.

Cause 2: different family expectations

In some cultures, family members are very close to each other. For instance, most Greek families and Italian families are really close. In contrast, in other cultures, family members are not so close. Let’s say you are an Englishman married to an Italian lady whose parents want to live in the same house with you because that is expected in their culture. Are you sure you will be 100% happy with that? Clearly, managing family expectations is paramount in a multicultural relationship.

Cause 3: incompatible lifestyle choices

Individuals from certain cultures highly value freedom, joy and satisfaction; thus, they are more likely to spend money on things and experiences that can bring these positive feelings and emotions quickly. However, people from some other cultures may value stability and security; as a result, they tend to save money for a rainy day. This means two people might spend their money, time and other resources very differently, thereby creating incompatible lifestyle choices. Hence, only couples who have compatible lifestyle choices are able to stay in satisfying relationships in the long term.

“The above-mentioned 3 causes of breakup in a multicultural relationship are very common. But people who are aware of these causes can proactively manage these differences early and take action accordingly. In this way, most people in multicultural relationships will find sustainable happiness. Watch this space as we will keep sharing safe dating advice here!”